As you should know the Chinese government limits couples to one child and will require and force abortions for couples who desire a second child. At the same time there are orphanages with children who have no hope of being adopted, especially if they are disabled or special needs. Gays also know that the Chinese will not allow adoption by gay couples.
I would like to see organization of funding an internal adoption agency where parents who truly desire a second child but who are forbidden by the government from having one naturally be allowed to adopt and receive financial support for that child. This is win-win. If an couple who already have a child wish to adopt a second child they should be encouraged to adopt and receive a financial incentive for the child's support. Most people, despite the booming economy, are still extremely poor, as the government admits, as they work on job creation and other solutions. Why could we not create a way to finance the adoption of children into properly vetted and loving families? This would be especially true for special needs children. Each couple that receives the money to care for a special needs child is changing the society's attitude and prejudices toward the disabled while at the same time growing a real family.
Gays have tremendous influence and access to resources (again, excuse my positive stereotyping). While adopting from China does not solve a prospective gay parent's fundamental objective of finding a child to adopt, I would think that the tender hearts of such gay advocates would be moved by seeing that Chinese impoverished couples are denied second children while special needs and abandoned children languish in orphanages, often without the necessary love, care and treatment. Why not apply your energy to this type of initiative in addition to your primary purpose of having a child? You can grow garden of life in your own patch in addition to helping others to do so on theirs.
Showing posts with label gay adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay adoption. Show all posts
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Another comment about gay adoption
I wanted to make this separate from the previous posting because it is a narrowing in on one aspect of gay parenting, which is the adoption route.
I know homosexual couples who have adopted children who are disabled, at risk, or cast outs in their native countries. On the face of it I understand why this seems like a noble act. However, gays are new to the "greater good" perspective as they mature in their own identity and finding their place in the pro life movement (and by pro life I don't mean simply the anti-abortion and pro life imperative, I mean the bias toward life that ensures humanity, as I described in my previous post). There are several reasons that adopting children, especially those who are disabled or at risk, is not as beneficial as one might assume.
While the world is increasingly a global community, children should not be viewed as commodities even if there are dire circumstances in their home countries. When you adopt a "reject" you are enabling the attitude in that culture that creates the deplorable circumstances. If you are a gay activist and love children then why would you not fund raise for quality orphanages or volunteer to serve in a charitable capacity to lift up ALL the children in that situation rather than try to adopt one? If you want to be a parent do so, but do it in the natural way of having your own genetic offspring as I endorse in the previous posting. If you want to save the world and be a child advocate then do THAT by using your skills and your resources to sponsor the cause of the children and their placements as a whole. Can you imagine if gays with money and influence had descended on Romania and transformed the orphanages in that sad decrepit country? You could have had your own child in a natural way, but also struck a blow for improving the lot of an entire cadre of children that have no voice or advocate.
When celebrities and others fly around buying children, especially disabled ones, they are contributing to the breakdown of their own home land's social fabric, rather than "rescuing" a child. How about fostering a native family so they can adopt their own special needs child? If I had the money I'd happily pay for a Chinese family to adopt and care for a special needs child in China rather than try to adopt and remove that child on my own.
The second recommendation I'd make about gay adoption is that if you truly cannot have a child in a natural way and adoption is your only recourse, then combine that with being a pro life and anti-abortion advocate. There are millions of abortions and they are all an abomination and loss of a precious real life. I wish that both straight and gay couples have interventions with women about to abort and make arrangements for adoption instead. Here you are truly saving a life and again, it is closer to the natural path as the baby will arrive "as is," a blessing from heaven and not from strictly a laboratory project. This is how it used to be. Many children were adopted through private arrangement, usually within families or among close friends. I know first hand where this has happened. I wish that homosexual couples would turn their attention toward the scourge of abortion and decouple it from their "sexual freedom" thinking. If you want to be a parent for all the good reasons then you should understand what I mean. Over one fourth of all Afro-Americans in this country are aborted. If you want to be a parent but also political and make a social statement, why is this not of more urgent concern to gays than it is? Why would you fly to another country to "rescue" a child so you can be a parent, while dozens are being aborted down the street from you? Gays MUST get more involved in the turning of America's heart away from the strain of abortion and toward performing loving interventions in order to bring a would-have-been aborted child to life.
I have huge compassion toward special needs children who are orphans throughout the world. The Catholic Church and other Christian agencies led the way in caring for such children throughout its history and around the world. I also have huge compassion for gay couples or individuals who truly wish to be a parent. But the trend toward adopting special needs children and feeling you are making a difference is combining two problems most ineffectively rather than solving them. Gays should use their energy and organizing power (excuse my positive stereotyping) to improve the conditions of the special needs children in situ, promote their adoption in situ, AND have their own children either naturally or as I said as a grassroots anti-abortion intervention.
I hope this is some refreshing and supportive thinking for all of you. Best of luck and good wishes.
I know homosexual couples who have adopted children who are disabled, at risk, or cast outs in their native countries. On the face of it I understand why this seems like a noble act. However, gays are new to the "greater good" perspective as they mature in their own identity and finding their place in the pro life movement (and by pro life I don't mean simply the anti-abortion and pro life imperative, I mean the bias toward life that ensures humanity, as I described in my previous post). There are several reasons that adopting children, especially those who are disabled or at risk, is not as beneficial as one might assume.
While the world is increasingly a global community, children should not be viewed as commodities even if there are dire circumstances in their home countries. When you adopt a "reject" you are enabling the attitude in that culture that creates the deplorable circumstances. If you are a gay activist and love children then why would you not fund raise for quality orphanages or volunteer to serve in a charitable capacity to lift up ALL the children in that situation rather than try to adopt one? If you want to be a parent do so, but do it in the natural way of having your own genetic offspring as I endorse in the previous posting. If you want to save the world and be a child advocate then do THAT by using your skills and your resources to sponsor the cause of the children and their placements as a whole. Can you imagine if gays with money and influence had descended on Romania and transformed the orphanages in that sad decrepit country? You could have had your own child in a natural way, but also struck a blow for improving the lot of an entire cadre of children that have no voice or advocate.
When celebrities and others fly around buying children, especially disabled ones, they are contributing to the breakdown of their own home land's social fabric, rather than "rescuing" a child. How about fostering a native family so they can adopt their own special needs child? If I had the money I'd happily pay for a Chinese family to adopt and care for a special needs child in China rather than try to adopt and remove that child on my own.
The second recommendation I'd make about gay adoption is that if you truly cannot have a child in a natural way and adoption is your only recourse, then combine that with being a pro life and anti-abortion advocate. There are millions of abortions and they are all an abomination and loss of a precious real life. I wish that both straight and gay couples have interventions with women about to abort and make arrangements for adoption instead. Here you are truly saving a life and again, it is closer to the natural path as the baby will arrive "as is," a blessing from heaven and not from strictly a laboratory project. This is how it used to be. Many children were adopted through private arrangement, usually within families or among close friends. I know first hand where this has happened. I wish that homosexual couples would turn their attention toward the scourge of abortion and decouple it from their "sexual freedom" thinking. If you want to be a parent for all the good reasons then you should understand what I mean. Over one fourth of all Afro-Americans in this country are aborted. If you want to be a parent but also political and make a social statement, why is this not of more urgent concern to gays than it is? Why would you fly to another country to "rescue" a child so you can be a parent, while dozens are being aborted down the street from you? Gays MUST get more involved in the turning of America's heart away from the strain of abortion and toward performing loving interventions in order to bring a would-have-been aborted child to life.
I have huge compassion toward special needs children who are orphans throughout the world. The Catholic Church and other Christian agencies led the way in caring for such children throughout its history and around the world. I also have huge compassion for gay couples or individuals who truly wish to be a parent. But the trend toward adopting special needs children and feeling you are making a difference is combining two problems most ineffectively rather than solving them. Gays should use their energy and organizing power (excuse my positive stereotyping) to improve the conditions of the special needs children in situ, promote their adoption in situ, AND have their own children either naturally or as I said as a grassroots anti-abortion intervention.
I hope this is some refreshing and supportive thinking for all of you. Best of luck and good wishes.
Clarity about gay parenting
God is first and foremost about life. God IS life and the bias in all actions toward life and fruitfulness. A bias away from life and being anti-life is a trend line away from God and away from, ultimately, humanity as a whole. Therefore I have absolutely no problem with gays who have a genuine desire to have a child and provide that child with a loving, appropriate upbringing and family life.
Here is the theology. Catholics are entirely within their right to not want to endorse homosexuality, which is forbidden in the Bible, by refusing to allow children within their adoption agencies to be adopted by homosexuals. Gay prospective parents should have a generosity of heart and not try to force the Church to go against its legitimate doctrine through "equal rights" arguments. A gay who persecutes the Church regarding adoption rights is demonstrating a black mark against their parental heart and motivations.
Having said that, please note there is nothing in the Bible about homosexuals not being parents. Notice that the relevant passages forbid the homosexual acts, but certainly do not forbid a homosexual having a child. God always biases toward life. Honor thy father and thy mother is pertinent to both heterosexual AND homosexual parents, assuming they are good pious people who deserve to be honored. So Bible thumpers who state that God is against homosexuals being parents are flat wrong. In ancient times a man or woman who tended toward homosexuality would in all likelihood be ordered by the priest to go home and have relations with their straight spouse and have children anyway. This is because priests corrected perceive that the uniting bond among humanity must be a bias toward having children and toward life in all its fruitfulness.
I have a friend who is gay, and I've not had a chance to see him for a long time, too long in my opinion. While we've never discussed it I think he would be a wonderful father and would like to see him be a father one day. My preference would be for him to do it the natural way with a woman friend. But anyway, I think of him often and how happy he would be as a father.
I caution gays to not approach having children as though it's a technically complex project because as I pointed out about forcing adoption against a Church's legitimate beliefs, a complicated and cold test tube approach is a distancing from the naturalness of parenthood that is unfortunate. I'm most pleased when I read about a gay man, for example, having a baby with a woman friend of his because this is the closest to the natural way that I wish on all people, straight or gay, who pursue parenthood. You see, it's a testimony to the gay parent if he has a friend who would participate in parenthood with him, rather than be a monetary, political or scientific colleague in the generating of an offspring. See how cold those words are compared to "deciding to have a baby with a friend?" While infertility treatments are a blessing for many heterosexual couples who have problems conceiving, the laboratory should be avoided wherever possible when that is an option rather than the only solution. Again, I am counseling you all in my role as an "uber parent" and spiritual director that if you want to be a parent, walking as close to the path of natural parenthood is the way that is the most fulfilling and satisfying.
I hope this helps. I love gays who love life and children, with pure hearts and minds, and who wish to be parents. Please do not, however, ruin the parental experience by persecuting Catholic agencies who have enough problems without having to be martyred by gay politics. People and governments who persecute Catholic adoption agencies are showing a cold heart that is dubious both for parental goodness and in the eyes of God.
Do search out the most natural way of actually bearing a child wherever you can. A gay prospective parent who has a friend who would actually take the risk and make the commitment of bearing a natural child is a credit to pro life and good parenting.
Here is the theology. Catholics are entirely within their right to not want to endorse homosexuality, which is forbidden in the Bible, by refusing to allow children within their adoption agencies to be adopted by homosexuals. Gay prospective parents should have a generosity of heart and not try to force the Church to go against its legitimate doctrine through "equal rights" arguments. A gay who persecutes the Church regarding adoption rights is demonstrating a black mark against their parental heart and motivations.
Having said that, please note there is nothing in the Bible about homosexuals not being parents. Notice that the relevant passages forbid the homosexual acts, but certainly do not forbid a homosexual having a child. God always biases toward life. Honor thy father and thy mother is pertinent to both heterosexual AND homosexual parents, assuming they are good pious people who deserve to be honored. So Bible thumpers who state that God is against homosexuals being parents are flat wrong. In ancient times a man or woman who tended toward homosexuality would in all likelihood be ordered by the priest to go home and have relations with their straight spouse and have children anyway. This is because priests corrected perceive that the uniting bond among humanity must be a bias toward having children and toward life in all its fruitfulness.
I have a friend who is gay, and I've not had a chance to see him for a long time, too long in my opinion. While we've never discussed it I think he would be a wonderful father and would like to see him be a father one day. My preference would be for him to do it the natural way with a woman friend. But anyway, I think of him often and how happy he would be as a father.
I caution gays to not approach having children as though it's a technically complex project because as I pointed out about forcing adoption against a Church's legitimate beliefs, a complicated and cold test tube approach is a distancing from the naturalness of parenthood that is unfortunate. I'm most pleased when I read about a gay man, for example, having a baby with a woman friend of his because this is the closest to the natural way that I wish on all people, straight or gay, who pursue parenthood. You see, it's a testimony to the gay parent if he has a friend who would participate in parenthood with him, rather than be a monetary, political or scientific colleague in the generating of an offspring. See how cold those words are compared to "deciding to have a baby with a friend?" While infertility treatments are a blessing for many heterosexual couples who have problems conceiving, the laboratory should be avoided wherever possible when that is an option rather than the only solution. Again, I am counseling you all in my role as an "uber parent" and spiritual director that if you want to be a parent, walking as close to the path of natural parenthood is the way that is the most fulfilling and satisfying.
I hope this helps. I love gays who love life and children, with pure hearts and minds, and who wish to be parents. Please do not, however, ruin the parental experience by persecuting Catholic agencies who have enough problems without having to be martyred by gay politics. People and governments who persecute Catholic adoption agencies are showing a cold heart that is dubious both for parental goodness and in the eyes of God.
Do search out the most natural way of actually bearing a child wherever you can. A gay prospective parent who has a friend who would actually take the risk and make the commitment of bearing a natural child is a credit to pro life and good parenting.
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