"....and the lamenting of their women" or, as spoken in a thick German accent by Arnold, "..and the lamenting of their vimen...."
See Wikipedia "Conan the Barbarian (film)."
Recall of that unintentional hilarious moment from this, um, film work of art history popped into my mind this morning as the topic of my mother, who has a German accent, came up at the bank....so in twitter tradition here's that useless thought of mine ;-) My ex- and I used to dissolve into giggles every time one of us repeated Arnold's classic LOL LOL LOL.
Showing posts with label movie reference. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie reference. Show all posts
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Indiana Jones talk: movies & missed opportunities
Regular readers and people who know me well know that I hardly ever go to the movies. This is because while I enjoyed them in college, movies since then are dark, unrealistic and depressive. Now, you don't have to be a cream puff to want your movies to be at least balanced and sane. For example, the big movies when I was in college were the very edgy and political "Z" (Greek politics), Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (hardly a happy ending), just to give you two examples. I also saw Mick Jagger's movie where he did weird things with a mirror and while it was pretty unwatchable for just being a total drag, like I said, I went to movies and gave them a chance. But starting in the late 1970's really horrible films starting coming out, like "Billy Jack" and other dark and depressive films, both left and right in orientation. Yuck to all of them.
This is a quick lead in because I bet you find people who complain but have no practical solutions tiresome, as I most certainly find them myself. So I wanted to give an example of how I would have made an authentic blockbuster.
I saw the Indiana Jones movie, I guess it was the first one, where they find the Ark. Well, it was enjoyable from a classic edgy adventure perspective, and Harrison Ford really cut up the screen with his larger than life character. I liked it fine, although that kind of movie does challenge my boredom index, until the ending. The ending could have been SO awesome and authentic, and instead it was just plain stupid and an excuse for a gore fest. This is where the Nazis touch the Ark and things that look like spirits do gory things to them. It was one of the first of the adventure flicks that make their entire summation to be a gory "comeuppance" scene with no morals or intellectual pondering. Here's what I would have done instead, and what I propose would have been great, because we see in the sales of stupid books like the DaVinci Code that people do want an adventure with spiritual and mental complexity, like a detective story. Oh, remind me to blog about what book is the modern origin of that type of interest, for you younger folks, as part of my series on influential books.
I would have had Indiana Jones and cohorts logic through in their minds what to do if the Ark is indeed found. (That's what modern armchair archaeologists ought to be doing, since the true Ark has not been found. Copies abound.) Now, the true Ark is no longer the seat of God, so it's not like God is "still in the box" just like when he descended to be in it when traveling with the Israelites. So God is not "in the box" but it is extremely holy and no good would come of handling it disrespectfully. So IJ and gang could have done some research on that. To be cool they could have gotten a hold of a Jewish scholar of the Levites, the tribe that had authority to handle the Ark.
This scholar could explain what I just did to IJ and gang, but here is where it gets even cooler. Just because there's a modern day Levi or Levy named or descended guy, does not mean he could handle the Ark. These were fully consecrated priests, not just family members with the right name and tribal affiliation. So they would have this discussion and then Jewish scholar would explain that not only could he not handle the Ark if he joined IJ and gang, there is no more "Jewish priest" who is fully consecrated. And in fact, there are no priests at all who can "touch" or be in the presence of the Body of the Lord.... oh wait, they suddenly realize. Don't those Catholics believe in the "what do you call it?" "Transubstantiation" the Jewish scholar could explain. "Yes, they believe that Jesus Christ is physically present in the bread and wine of the Holy Mass." Sudden enlightenment, education, adventure and ecumenical moment, as they realize that only Catholic (and Orthodox, C of E who have still full communion with Rome, etc), but to be on the really safe side, only Catholic priests are consecrated to be able to handle objects that contain "the presence of God."
And hidey hoo, off everyone goes to get a Catholic priest! They would have to get a real one, not a New Age fake, and the Catholic priest would have to have a confession, celebrate Mass, and then directly go to the location (ensuring his purity). He and the Levi scholar would be a team. Would that have not been amazingly cool?
And instead we got the same crap we've now seen for thirty years, of "adventure" being close ups of gory deaths. The Ark could still have smited the Nazis, but just in the Biblical way, of "bang! they are dead" (this would have been how IJ and gang knew is was "active" and the actual holy Ark, not a copy).
So the Catholic priest could have handled and opened the Ark, with total safety, while having directions about the mechanisms and so forth from the Jewish scholar. What a team!
To keep loose ends tidy, it could have ended with a voice saying, "Not for this generation" and the Ark could disappear. That way we all don't have to ponder the horror of the Ark being on display in the Met in NYC ha ha ha.
Wouldn't THAT have been one hundred times better than what we got? Ditto every other movie on that kind of topic. It would be BOTH more realistic and more fantastic, imaginative and exciting!
This is a quick lead in because I bet you find people who complain but have no practical solutions tiresome, as I most certainly find them myself. So I wanted to give an example of how I would have made an authentic blockbuster.
I saw the Indiana Jones movie, I guess it was the first one, where they find the Ark. Well, it was enjoyable from a classic edgy adventure perspective, and Harrison Ford really cut up the screen with his larger than life character. I liked it fine, although that kind of movie does challenge my boredom index, until the ending. The ending could have been SO awesome and authentic, and instead it was just plain stupid and an excuse for a gore fest. This is where the Nazis touch the Ark and things that look like spirits do gory things to them. It was one of the first of the adventure flicks that make their entire summation to be a gory "comeuppance" scene with no morals or intellectual pondering. Here's what I would have done instead, and what I propose would have been great, because we see in the sales of stupid books like the DaVinci Code that people do want an adventure with spiritual and mental complexity, like a detective story. Oh, remind me to blog about what book is the modern origin of that type of interest, for you younger folks, as part of my series on influential books.
I would have had Indiana Jones and cohorts logic through in their minds what to do if the Ark is indeed found. (That's what modern armchair archaeologists ought to be doing, since the true Ark has not been found. Copies abound.) Now, the true Ark is no longer the seat of God, so it's not like God is "still in the box" just like when he descended to be in it when traveling with the Israelites. So God is not "in the box" but it is extremely holy and no good would come of handling it disrespectfully. So IJ and gang could have done some research on that. To be cool they could have gotten a hold of a Jewish scholar of the Levites, the tribe that had authority to handle the Ark.
This scholar could explain what I just did to IJ and gang, but here is where it gets even cooler. Just because there's a modern day Levi or Levy named or descended guy, does not mean he could handle the Ark. These were fully consecrated priests, not just family members with the right name and tribal affiliation. So they would have this discussion and then Jewish scholar would explain that not only could he not handle the Ark if he joined IJ and gang, there is no more "Jewish priest" who is fully consecrated. And in fact, there are no priests at all who can "touch" or be in the presence of the Body of the Lord.... oh wait, they suddenly realize. Don't those Catholics believe in the "what do you call it?" "Transubstantiation" the Jewish scholar could explain. "Yes, they believe that Jesus Christ is physically present in the bread and wine of the Holy Mass." Sudden enlightenment, education, adventure and ecumenical moment, as they realize that only Catholic (and Orthodox, C of E who have still full communion with Rome, etc), but to be on the really safe side, only Catholic priests are consecrated to be able to handle objects that contain "the presence of God."
And hidey hoo, off everyone goes to get a Catholic priest! They would have to get a real one, not a New Age fake, and the Catholic priest would have to have a confession, celebrate Mass, and then directly go to the location (ensuring his purity). He and the Levi scholar would be a team. Would that have not been amazingly cool?
And instead we got the same crap we've now seen for thirty years, of "adventure" being close ups of gory deaths. The Ark could still have smited the Nazis, but just in the Biblical way, of "bang! they are dead" (this would have been how IJ and gang knew is was "active" and the actual holy Ark, not a copy).
So the Catholic priest could have handled and opened the Ark, with total safety, while having directions about the mechanisms and so forth from the Jewish scholar. What a team!
To keep loose ends tidy, it could have ended with a voice saying, "Not for this generation" and the Ark could disappear. That way we all don't have to ponder the horror of the Ark being on display in the Met in NYC ha ha ha.
Wouldn't THAT have been one hundred times better than what we got? Ditto every other movie on that kind of topic. It would be BOTH more realistic and more fantastic, imaginative and exciting!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Self restraint: song and movie references
For further thought, I offer the lyrics of what was one of my favorite songs decades ago, "Restrain Yourself" by Poco.
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/RESTRAIN-lyrics-Poco/26690C889BC504964825699E0022128A
If you read the song you'll see exactly what I mean. When this song was written, restraint was still considered a virtue. The singer is telling the listen to restrain his or her self until they can't restrain no more. This song literally demarks, without intending to, the crucial shift in thinking about "self restraint" that I just have blogged about. I love this song because it is about the virtue of restraining until one really must act on one's convictions. The singer is by no means being critical of the listener for "restraining." It is right on the edge of the time when people who DO restraint themselves in any way shape or form have become quickly criticized as being "repressed" and "inauthentic." The beat to this song is awesome too, by the way!
The second example is the classic movie "Shane," starring Alan Ladd. It is about a retired gunslinger who takes a lot of crap yet refuses to solve his problems again with a gun. It is the ultimate movie about virtuous restraint. He restrains not only himself from gun slinging, but also from falling in love with the wife of his employer, until it becomes a matter of protecting the family he has come to love. Then the guns are strapped back on. This movie is an icon about virtuous "self restraint" and when it is time to stop restraining when there is dire virtuous need.
You can see how the "hippie" generation destroyed the whole idea of virtuous restraint, something that ALL of humanity valued until the last forty years. It is mind boggling, truly.
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/RESTRAIN-lyrics-Poco/26690C889BC504964825699E0022128A
If you read the song you'll see exactly what I mean. When this song was written, restraint was still considered a virtue. The singer is telling the listen to restrain his or her self until they can't restrain no more. This song literally demarks, without intending to, the crucial shift in thinking about "self restraint" that I just have blogged about. I love this song because it is about the virtue of restraining until one really must act on one's convictions. The singer is by no means being critical of the listener for "restraining." It is right on the edge of the time when people who DO restraint themselves in any way shape or form have become quickly criticized as being "repressed" and "inauthentic." The beat to this song is awesome too, by the way!
The second example is the classic movie "Shane," starring Alan Ladd. It is about a retired gunslinger who takes a lot of crap yet refuses to solve his problems again with a gun. It is the ultimate movie about virtuous restraint. He restrains not only himself from gun slinging, but also from falling in love with the wife of his employer, until it becomes a matter of protecting the family he has come to love. Then the guns are strapped back on. This movie is an icon about virtuous "self restraint" and when it is time to stop restraining when there is dire virtuous need.
You can see how the "hippie" generation destroyed the whole idea of virtuous restraint, something that ALL of humanity valued until the last forty years. It is mind boggling, truly.
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