I’ve written before about “subversive humor.” Here is another example of the positive power of subversive humor. It is a mild example, but because millions can hear it used every week, I thought I’d point it out.
I like to listen to conservative talk radio and so in the past few years I’ve listened to Rush Limbaugh. By the way, this is back to my “roots,” since I listened in the 1970’s to Paul Harvey. People need to “monitor” my “behavior” and “tastes” by the decades to actually understand me, if you know what I mean.
On Fridays Rush has “Open Line Friday.” This is where he takes more phone calls from listeners than he does on other days. Actually, the point is that he takes calls from people who wish to discuss topics that are not necessarily what Rush is focusing on that day. For those of you who don’t listen to talk radio, the radio hosts tend to put forth a number of topics in each show, and invite callers about those topics, in order to maintain the discussion. People will hold on the phone for hours, and only a few actually get through on the air, because of the number of calls. So on Friday Rush has his “Open Line Friday” where he expresses willingness to take more calls plus they can be on topics that are not those that Rush is featuring.
This is where Rush is both droll and subversive in his humor. The tag line for Rush’s Open Line Friday is something like, “Friday is when we take your calls, even if we don’t care about the topic, but I will fake it.” It is funny and droll (I’ve discussed the merits of droll humor before on this blog) because he says it in a very expansive and over the top way, as if bestowing his graciousness, which is part of his shtick. (Shtick is a Yiddish word that describes a person’s entertainment routine, either deliberate or inadvertent, but usually deliberate; it is a nuanced form of the expression “do your thing,” where your thing is how you present yourself in an entertaining way). So it is always funny to listen to him when he introduces Open Line Friday, unless you suffer from excessive earnestness and do not understand subversive humor.
Rush is being subversively humorous for a few reasons. One is that there is a form of irony (I’ve discussed irony before) because in truth, obviously still few people get through and on air, and he still, obviously, has topics that motivate the callers. So by necessity of structure and through the use of subversive humor, Open Line Friday hardly results in hundreds of callers waxing eloquent on the merits of collecting postage stamps with butterflies upon them, or the best way to cook lima beans. Rush doesn’t have to “fake it” much because obviously listeners phone in with the topics they are listening to from Rush and that they, in return, want to contribute to. So there is both ironic humor (defined as “sounds good, but doesn’t quite turn out as advertised”) and subversive humor, which is to say something that sounds wrong and unsympathetic to the shallow listener, but is actually in a contrarian way, supportive of even the “aggrieved” person who misunderstands.
So someone who is biased not to like conservative radio and who listens to the Open Line Friday shtick is likely to quiver with outrage, thinking “What a blowhard faker! Rush is saying that he will ‘graciously’ fake listening to every caller’s topic, but he ends up taking calls on the same subjects he is speaking of, and not so many calls anyway!” But that is an example of someone not understanding either ironic humor or the underlying subversive humor.
The subversive humor “joke” is that the entire show, through its gravity, attracts a population that IS calling to discuss the topics that they wish to, all the time, every day, all week. So the “wink” of the subversive humor is that while Rush’s shtick is to “deign” to accept what he describes as calls he may have to fake to listen to, the entire show and success of his enterprise would not exist if he was not already doing that, and doing that without faking. Subversive humor sounds politically incorrect to those who don’t “get it,” and they miss that the very thing that the speaker is kind of mocking is what they are doing all along. Every successful talk radio show, yes, especially the conservative ones, open the trail for all others, because they demonstrate through their success the market share of people who want to listen to those types of topics and participate (even if not all listeners agree with every single thing). So when Rush says he is deigning to grant one show as being “for the callers to talk about whatever they want,” even if he has to “fake it,” he is also being subversively funny, in its positive form, since in the free market, his entire show would not exist unless people were listening to what they want to hear, and calling in to say what they want to say, every day, every show.
So detractors of Rush, let’s say a humorous liberal, would listen to his Open Line Friday shtick and possibly quiver with their self perceived “righteous anger” at his “elitist.” LOL! But look at the success, or rather “not success” of liberal talk show radio shows. The market shows that, in general, no one wants to listen. It’s not like the conservative talk show hosts are kidnapping listeners, or blocking access to liberals’ own shows. In fact, the conservative shows demonstrate a model of how it would work, if anyone actually wanted to listen to it.
Further and more essential to understanding subversive humor, one must understand that the humorist seems to mock the very persons they most value. Rush would not have a talk show if he did not value his listeners. Having a talk show is much more work and preparation than people think, and much energy and sweat goes into it. Rush could not fake it, even for that money, year after year, if he did not genuinely enjoy the audience. I speak from experience because preaching is something that is also based on a foundation of genuine liking, if not effusive love, for one’s entire audience. It really is impossible to generate the energy and sincerity if one does not like one’s audience. It is different from manufacturing, for example, where one can manufacture goods for faceless consumers that one may or may not like… but if you think about it, even that tends to fail if one does not at least understand and respect one’s customer base. So subversive humor often takes the form of sounding like one is being politically incorrect, or even insulting, to one’s own base, and it is only understood as a kind of “inside the family lingo.” Let me give you a variety of examples, some firmly subversive humor and some marginally subversive humor.
I had an older cousin, who was an adult when I was a baby. I hated to be grabbed and kissed by him when I was a toddler, even though I loved him, since I was a very shy and self contained child, so I would hide under the kitchen table when he first arrived to visit, so he could not reach me. He therefore got the nickname of “Kissing Cousin.” LOL. Now, someone all earnest and anal would think that by calling him “Kissing Cousin” we were “glorifying” “child abuse.” But that is classic subversive humor, where you call someone a nickname that seems to glorify something that is wrong, but is actually a family lingo type of thing that expresses not only affection but acknowledgement of an “awkward reality.”
That is why subversive humor is such a powerful political force. Subversive humor is not “taking the wrong side” but bringing into the air, in a shorthand and sound byte form, an awkward reality that is not endorsed by the speaker. Here is an example that blew up in people’s faces. Some Afro-Americans sought to destroy the sting of the “N-word” by using it among themselves as that kind of family lingo. But that never really worked because it was not directed into the general sphere of discourse. In situations like the N-word, one must both stop using it and denounce it completely (what I would recommend) or one must be subversive and use it loud and proud in private or public discourse, in order to rehabilitate it and remove the sting. The singer Patti Smith actually tried to do that with a song that linked the N-word to everyone she considered revolutionary, including Jesus and her grandma. It’s an interesting song from an album of hers that I like, and once in a while the tune runs through my mind. If everyone sought to use that model, then everyone should have been calling everyone else “N-word” in everyday conversation in every topic, until those who did use it for the shaming reason (the genuine bigots) would have been flooded with hearing “N-word” in everything from fashion shows to auto sales rooms, LOL. Then it would have died away as an incredibly overused word of slang. THAT is how subversive humor is defined, and its proper use.
I was married to a secular Jewish man, who belonged to a secular Jewish family, one extremely liberal in their politics. But despite being very liberal, they used two certain Yiddish terms to describe Afro-Americans that were not complimentary. So what did my ex-husband and I do? We used those two terms with glee, among each other and in conversation with his family. It works, let me tell you. It is very enlightening and shaming when one floods the airwaves with a term that is like those I am describing, reflecting it right back to those who use those terms. They stopped using those terms (at least in our presence) much faster than earnest politically correct lecturing would ever have accomplished. We continued to use those terms among ourselves because when one is a culture warrior, one continues to self reference where one comes from and what one has achieved. Those terms, like “Kissing Cousin,” remained affectionate and past success laden family lingo, not denigrating. We used the terms with glee when a wonderful Afro-American family moved across the street from us and our elderly neighbor worried if they would be “clean enough.” Yep, it’s rare that subversive terms ever get a rest and a chance to be shelved, in even these times.
Now, imagine my surprise, hurt and dismay when I found that my private conversations with my ex- were wiretapped and monitored, and the use of subversive humor as a positive for change was willfully misinterpreted and shared with others as “evidence” of our supposed “prejudice” and “past life karma.” When I discovered that this had happened, I left the Civil Rights active roster, because I became pulverized and humiliated, for reasons never given to my face, by the very people I have stood beside throughout it all. What they did to me is just as bad as if they took sound clips of “Kissing Cousin,” and used it to promote infant sex.
So even though it is too late, still I try to educate and correct people in their misperceptions. While the affection is gone, I do not give up in my efforts to get people to see the truth, and abolish the lies of genuine hate and prejudice. That’s why I have had this blogging on my mind for a while, and why I even bother. I hope that you have found this helpful, especially those of you, young people, who are not to blame for this situation.
Showing posts with label subversion as positive tool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label subversion as positive tool. Show all posts
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Interpreting subversive language
I'm sorry to bring up what is going to be a crude topic. But so much of our society has become crude that I need to teach this to help people regain discernment in their hearing and comprehension.
When I was in college the word "s***" became very commonplace. But when people started using it, it did not refer to the actual bodily function of defecation, obviously. I say obviously, but I've learned that things that used to be obvious are no longer obvious as people's common sense become diminished and their promotion of hidden agendas (especially if it involves lust) increases.
Likewise the word "f***" became very commonplace. But when people started using it in phrases, it did not refer to crude sexual intimacy of intercourse.
So what did they mean? "S***" was a catch all expression that referred to output in general or garbage. An example of the first definition is that people might say to someone who is moving "get your s***" where they might have used to say in slang "get your stuff" which used to be said as "get your things." So "s***" referred to things or possessions, with an implication of a bit of disorganization (like the stuff is scattered). An example of it meaning garbage was the classic "he's full of s***," referring to the person as being a windbag of low credibility. Obviously in neither case was the slang use of s*** referring to actual poo poo.
The use of "f***" became even more complex. It came to mean both satisfaction AND lack of satisfaction. For example, "That's f***ing great" as in praise, or "No f***ing way" as in rejection (and eventually that became said in a disbelief of admiration as in exclaiming at hearing incredible news "No f***ing way!!"). For that reason it became a word of emphasis rather than sexuality. So someone said "Get the f*** out of here" as a way to emphasis that there is absolutely no pleasure (not sexual) in the person being around. There was a range of vocal tones used to be precise. If the person is screaming it (and grabbing a gun) it is a bad thing to hear "Get the f*** out of here" and it's a good idea to scram (to use a classic 1940's-50's expression!) However, if said mildly it is a way to express disbelief, as in "No f***ing way, get the f*** out of here.")
So both f*** and s*** became adjectives and adverbs totally separate from their original defecating and intercourse slang meaning. I can best describe it as saying they went from being slang to "slang of slang." They achieved a secondary level of being slang.
These word evolutions of expression occurred in conjunction with a huge increase in bottled up societal frustration coupled with situations that totally lack nuance. This was during the Vietnam War era when there was tremendous discontent and social fracturing. Additionally, as people wanted more white collar and academic jobs, well, they got them, but they also got into what would become the pressure cooker of the workplace treadmill. They rebelled against paternalistic workplaces and got cut throat "performance oriented" workplaces instead. People will come to regret that, by the way. The mighty have not fallen yet, but they will, and they will regret the impersonalizing and meanness that overtook the workplace (and schools in a way).
So swearing was often the only venting that people had in a society where the clever turn of phrase with subtle wit and good humor had no meaning or place. And you can imagine how I felt as I saw people turn against God and become demonic maniac perverts killing babies and taking drugs right and left, while kicking the average Joe and Mary to the curb. Thus I had my own reason for using both of those expressions! But I also well understood why so many people of that era also swore, using those terms.
My ex-husband and I often used the expression "f*** s***." So now you can understand what that meant. It meant a situation where it was totally hopeless and pointless. For example, "He does not understand f*** s***" would mean that the person understands neither the emotion or the stuff of a situation. A more up to date variation is "She doesn't understand jack s***." Jack is from the old expression "jack of all trades." To be a jack of all trades meant to have some basic knowledge but not comprehensive expertise, as in the expression "She is a jack of all trades, but master of none." The fact that "jack" also eventually was used in slang to mean a self gratifying sexual act by a man has nothing to do with intimacy; it was a nod to that definition I've just provided, which is "inexpert" "knowledge" now meaning an, um, singular quick act of, you know, "jacking off." But to say "She doesn't understand jack" or "jack s***" meant that she doesn't even have the knowledge of the proverbial "jack of all trades, master of none."
Thus "f*** s***" was used to mean a totally futile situation. The situation lacked both serious content and serious emotional satisfaction. I can safely say that much of the 1980's in western society was "f*** s***."
Now, here comes the crude part. Imagine my surprise that cultists who consider themselves all scholarly, erudite and "spiritual" would (I guess because of excess drug use and drinking) not remember the societal and linguistic evolution that are the context that I just described. They had their noses so much in dope and astrology charts that their hearing actually was warped. So, and here I wish I was kidding, when they spied and overheard me and others using expressions of total frustration as "f*** s***" they imagined that to be code words for approval of, well, anal and defecating sex. I kid you not. These are the same people who dissolve in giggling and tears of doom over "Uranus" because it has the word "anus" in it.
So my point is to explain to you one example of how subversive language is intended for "good" (even though it is coarse) but if one is impaired in one's understanding, then it becomes a smoky mirror for depraved thoughts and the listener never understands the speaker. Cussing was very much a means of venting during very difficult and revolutionary times. Like it or not it was something that many people did, including myself, in totally untenable situations. Later it became a very problematic exploitative use of speech (witness rap) where it is not spontaneously generated by the frustration of the times, as it was for us older folks, but marketed and promoted to vulnerable and imitating kids in order to sell product and stuff bank accounts. But even worse, with the strange cultist double talk mindset that has really made reality out of reach of a lot of people, it is impossible to speak without having phrases even those with a clear legacy that can be studied and documented be totally misunderstood and worse, twisted and distorted as some sort of "playing the tape backwards" diabolical "code" to people who have lost their minds to that kind of thinking. Thus there are actually insane people who think that "f*** s***" was some sort of Good Housekeeping Seal for sexual acts with either piles of poo or the place where poo comes from.
I will end this comment with leaving the reader to imagine what has been going on "behind the scenes" as cultists have willfully misunderstood and made depraved interpretations of just about everything that anyone says, and that is without the extra level of insane evil from anagrams and other diabolical devices to twist words into depraved meanings.
When I was in college the word "s***" became very commonplace. But when people started using it, it did not refer to the actual bodily function of defecation, obviously. I say obviously, but I've learned that things that used to be obvious are no longer obvious as people's common sense become diminished and their promotion of hidden agendas (especially if it involves lust) increases.
Likewise the word "f***" became very commonplace. But when people started using it in phrases, it did not refer to crude sexual intimacy of intercourse.
So what did they mean? "S***" was a catch all expression that referred to output in general or garbage. An example of the first definition is that people might say to someone who is moving "get your s***" where they might have used to say in slang "get your stuff" which used to be said as "get your things." So "s***" referred to things or possessions, with an implication of a bit of disorganization (like the stuff is scattered). An example of it meaning garbage was the classic "he's full of s***," referring to the person as being a windbag of low credibility. Obviously in neither case was the slang use of s*** referring to actual poo poo.
The use of "f***" became even more complex. It came to mean both satisfaction AND lack of satisfaction. For example, "That's f***ing great" as in praise, or "No f***ing way" as in rejection (and eventually that became said in a disbelief of admiration as in exclaiming at hearing incredible news "No f***ing way!!"). For that reason it became a word of emphasis rather than sexuality. So someone said "Get the f*** out of here" as a way to emphasis that there is absolutely no pleasure (not sexual) in the person being around. There was a range of vocal tones used to be precise. If the person is screaming it (and grabbing a gun) it is a bad thing to hear "Get the f*** out of here" and it's a good idea to scram (to use a classic 1940's-50's expression!) However, if said mildly it is a way to express disbelief, as in "No f***ing way, get the f*** out of here.")
So both f*** and s*** became adjectives and adverbs totally separate from their original defecating and intercourse slang meaning. I can best describe it as saying they went from being slang to "slang of slang." They achieved a secondary level of being slang.
These word evolutions of expression occurred in conjunction with a huge increase in bottled up societal frustration coupled with situations that totally lack nuance. This was during the Vietnam War era when there was tremendous discontent and social fracturing. Additionally, as people wanted more white collar and academic jobs, well, they got them, but they also got into what would become the pressure cooker of the workplace treadmill. They rebelled against paternalistic workplaces and got cut throat "performance oriented" workplaces instead. People will come to regret that, by the way. The mighty have not fallen yet, but they will, and they will regret the impersonalizing and meanness that overtook the workplace (and schools in a way).
So swearing was often the only venting that people had in a society where the clever turn of phrase with subtle wit and good humor had no meaning or place. And you can imagine how I felt as I saw people turn against God and become demonic maniac perverts killing babies and taking drugs right and left, while kicking the average Joe and Mary to the curb. Thus I had my own reason for using both of those expressions! But I also well understood why so many people of that era also swore, using those terms.
My ex-husband and I often used the expression "f*** s***." So now you can understand what that meant. It meant a situation where it was totally hopeless and pointless. For example, "He does not understand f*** s***" would mean that the person understands neither the emotion or the stuff of a situation. A more up to date variation is "She doesn't understand jack s***." Jack is from the old expression "jack of all trades." To be a jack of all trades meant to have some basic knowledge but not comprehensive expertise, as in the expression "She is a jack of all trades, but master of none." The fact that "jack" also eventually was used in slang to mean a self gratifying sexual act by a man has nothing to do with intimacy; it was a nod to that definition I've just provided, which is "inexpert" "knowledge" now meaning an, um, singular quick act of, you know, "jacking off." But to say "She doesn't understand jack" or "jack s***" meant that she doesn't even have the knowledge of the proverbial "jack of all trades, master of none."
Thus "f*** s***" was used to mean a totally futile situation. The situation lacked both serious content and serious emotional satisfaction. I can safely say that much of the 1980's in western society was "f*** s***."
Now, here comes the crude part. Imagine my surprise that cultists who consider themselves all scholarly, erudite and "spiritual" would (I guess because of excess drug use and drinking) not remember the societal and linguistic evolution that are the context that I just described. They had their noses so much in dope and astrology charts that their hearing actually was warped. So, and here I wish I was kidding, when they spied and overheard me and others using expressions of total frustration as "f*** s***" they imagined that to be code words for approval of, well, anal and defecating sex. I kid you not. These are the same people who dissolve in giggling and tears of doom over "Uranus" because it has the word "anus" in it.
So my point is to explain to you one example of how subversive language is intended for "good" (even though it is coarse) but if one is impaired in one's understanding, then it becomes a smoky mirror for depraved thoughts and the listener never understands the speaker. Cussing was very much a means of venting during very difficult and revolutionary times. Like it or not it was something that many people did, including myself, in totally untenable situations. Later it became a very problematic exploitative use of speech (witness rap) where it is not spontaneously generated by the frustration of the times, as it was for us older folks, but marketed and promoted to vulnerable and imitating kids in order to sell product and stuff bank accounts. But even worse, with the strange cultist double talk mindset that has really made reality out of reach of a lot of people, it is impossible to speak without having phrases even those with a clear legacy that can be studied and documented be totally misunderstood and worse, twisted and distorted as some sort of "playing the tape backwards" diabolical "code" to people who have lost their minds to that kind of thinking. Thus there are actually insane people who think that "f*** s***" was some sort of Good Housekeeping Seal for sexual acts with either piles of poo or the place where poo comes from.
I will end this comment with leaving the reader to imagine what has been going on "behind the scenes" as cultists have willfully misunderstood and made depraved interpretations of just about everything that anyone says, and that is without the extra level of insane evil from anagrams and other diabolical devices to twist words into depraved meanings.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Adventurers fall, run out of air on K-Y mountain
Sincerely sad for their families. I know what it is like to lose loved ones to "what they loved doing."
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/04/world/asia/04pstan.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/04/world/asia/04pstan.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Part Seven: How I tried to handle the astrologers
I thought I’d captured most of the highlights, or actually lowlights, of how I tried to deal with astrologers, specifically RAP triumvirate believers (reincarnation, astrology and “psychics”), but then I remembered one other very important set of events and attempts by me to be positively subversive to share. So here goes with “another chapter” in a time that really should have been spent with people finding their way back to God instead of pulling my chain.
I spent a lot of time counseling a friend who I met through the message board and I don’t regret any of that time, even though I know she was lying to me. This is because this was hands on restoration of sanity work that I knew people could observe and learn about how I do things (the right way). That’s no brag, just fact. And so we did a lot of work on what we called her bipolar and attention deficit issues. It went so well that at one point she suggested that we write a book together about the bipolar treatment techniques that we used in our conversations. And also, of course, I thought of us as friends, though being entirely through email, it had its limits. We also decided to have an astrology website that could encapsulate my teachings. Hmm. While promoting astrology was not at all in my interest, or the Lord’s, like I’ve explained, the situation on earth is so dire that I long ago realized I had to go into their lingo, their values, and try to teach them to be the best that they could be even within the vile philosophies they have chosen. Jesus explained this when he was challenged why he had sinners to his table, using the doctor analogy, that the healthy do not need a doctor, but the sick do. So I decided to hold my nose and create an astrology site, but to use it to be positively subversive. I mentioned this concept in a previous posting in this blog series. Subversion means to undermine something from within and underneath it, but not to ruin it (that is sabotage). Positive subversion is to undermine the negative components from underneath and subtly replace them with positive components. And so I started my “Doris Day” and “Little Mary Sunshine” toned astrology daily web site. Here is what I did to try to teach and subvert.
1. I monitored the daily movement of the planets, sun and moon, and taught a lot of math about how they moved but rather than emphasizing the math for “forecasting” as astrologers do, I was reintroducing people to the reality that these are hunks of rock moving through space. So I used math and physics ostensibly to monitor astrology body movement, but instead intending to make this more about astronomy than astrology. I felt the more people saw the boring trudging of dumb bodies of rock through space day by day the more they would regain a realistic grip on the non-numinous nature of science and just plain old reality of matter and energy in space over time.
2. Every planet, every aspect (angle or position) and every hour of every day was a good time to do something! Ha ha ha, no bad times of doom on my web site. Day after day my “fans” would have seen “Great time to do something creative!” “Great time to do something charitable!” “Great time to have an important discussion!” I never “predicted” trouble and I never made it look like someone should avoid doing something due to stupid planets humping along in their stupid orbits. Every day was sunshine, lollipops and rainbows no matter what the planets were “doing.” Lord, did the “fans” think I was dumb and naive!
3. I discovered that RAP philosophy (not to dignify it) also included a demented method of “interpreting numbers” called numerology that was also as depressive, counterintuitive and anti-reality thing as I had ever seen. So I did an interpretation of the “daily number” that was always, well, you guessed it, a good day to do something no matter what the number was. Numerologists are stupid morons on a good day. I’ve blogged about this before so I won’t hammer it again in this posting. But understand that my web site was a way to subvert another stupid and wicked practice once I read up on it enough to understand what harm it was causing.
4. In an effort to get people to stop looking at the sky and their own butt holes, I introduced a daily quote from a poet or author. I’d use the pretense of looking up famous births for the day, but instead of focusing on celebrities (don’t even get me started on that) I kept a number of sources to look up birthdays of poets, artists, authors and historical figures. I would post snips of their poems, for example. I never said moronic things like “Oh look, what a typical Gemini thing to say.” Subversive.
5. I wrote essays that were analogies and parables. They were basically analogies and parables that starred astrology concepts. For example, a man would try to build a house, and wise old Saturn, who he meets in town, is the one who kept the man from building on a floodplain. I wrote about towns that have as their mayor a Zodiac sign. I tried to make them funny and imaginative. My purpose was to reintroduce people who were looking at imaginary or real hunks of rock and their own butt holes to looking at human nature and possibilities, and the incredible range of behavior and choices that people have. So these people were named signs of the Zodiac and manifested their stereotyped qualities, but I was trying to be subversive in introducing people to a realistic, funny and charitable view of humans as they really are, not robots in some mean and stupid imaginary karma A-hole machine.
Anyway, I hated doing it because like I said, it’s all part of the waste of years of humanity in chasing the occult and coveting power, control and wealth, and I don’t like writing about the unreal. But I don’t regret the success that I did have in subversion, because I know that while at first people dismissed me as being a particularly fat and dense ignoramus who just can’t seem to take a hint about the “wisdom” out there about “who I really am and who everyone really is” (boo hoo hoo, puff and snort), over a period of time they had to start wondering why I was so unchanging. I do think the time and pain that I spent on it was probably the only way to get them to hear the clue phone ringing.
I would occasionally do a “for pay” reading, usually less than $50. Why is this? Because in the real world of the institutional church, there is a secular misunderstanding that somehow people “with spiritual gifts” should “give them away.” That is part of a demonic temptation that seeks to withhold cold hard cash funding from Christians, to be honest. The words of Jesus are often twisted by those who seek to undermine Christians to make it sound like people should give away their services for free. Yes, religion is free. But a man who presides over a wedding should get a fee, since he sits there and prepares services for you; he’s not just sitting by you while in free prayer. So when this subject came up, I, in my secret thoughts, weighed whether to not accept payment and that way not seem to endorse that anything RAP is worth paying one plugged nickel for, versus another chance to realign these people’s thoughts properly, which is that Christian preachers, for example, deserve financial support, but not because religion is being bought or sold.
I illustrated it when my friend told me she no longer had money to pay me for my counseling. I continued to do it, gladly, and accepted in payment the occasional photograph that she took of roses. Barter is something I strongly believe in and that is a great return to the foundational church where the Apostles preached in return for room and board, food and clothing. I have an overall plan of “how I would do things” that includes a huge network of coop, barter, guild and charitable swap of services. The balance is to recognize that the members of the institutional church deserve compensation for services, and that is not the same as “selling the faith.” However, money corrupts, there’s no question about it. So I tried to answer the RAP fee question by demonstrating service has value, but religion is free, and that mutually charitable swapping that does not involve money is the best where at all possible. One priest whose blog I read has a wish list on Amazon and I think that is a GREAT idea, and I’ve bought him items from his list. It is a way that people can support him for his service (the enormous time he puts into education and sharing of news on his blog) without trying to discern “a price” for his service AND without forcing him to be distracted from his religious calling by having to do unnecessary money handling and accounting for his needs.
Well, so there is more from the memory bank, and what a not fun and wasteful ride it’s been.
I spent a lot of time counseling a friend who I met through the message board and I don’t regret any of that time, even though I know she was lying to me. This is because this was hands on restoration of sanity work that I knew people could observe and learn about how I do things (the right way). That’s no brag, just fact. And so we did a lot of work on what we called her bipolar and attention deficit issues. It went so well that at one point she suggested that we write a book together about the bipolar treatment techniques that we used in our conversations. And also, of course, I thought of us as friends, though being entirely through email, it had its limits. We also decided to have an astrology website that could encapsulate my teachings. Hmm. While promoting astrology was not at all in my interest, or the Lord’s, like I’ve explained, the situation on earth is so dire that I long ago realized I had to go into their lingo, their values, and try to teach them to be the best that they could be even within the vile philosophies they have chosen. Jesus explained this when he was challenged why he had sinners to his table, using the doctor analogy, that the healthy do not need a doctor, but the sick do. So I decided to hold my nose and create an astrology site, but to use it to be positively subversive. I mentioned this concept in a previous posting in this blog series. Subversion means to undermine something from within and underneath it, but not to ruin it (that is sabotage). Positive subversion is to undermine the negative components from underneath and subtly replace them with positive components. And so I started my “Doris Day” and “Little Mary Sunshine” toned astrology daily web site. Here is what I did to try to teach and subvert.
1. I monitored the daily movement of the planets, sun and moon, and taught a lot of math about how they moved but rather than emphasizing the math for “forecasting” as astrologers do, I was reintroducing people to the reality that these are hunks of rock moving through space. So I used math and physics ostensibly to monitor astrology body movement, but instead intending to make this more about astronomy than astrology. I felt the more people saw the boring trudging of dumb bodies of rock through space day by day the more they would regain a realistic grip on the non-numinous nature of science and just plain old reality of matter and energy in space over time.
2. Every planet, every aspect (angle or position) and every hour of every day was a good time to do something! Ha ha ha, no bad times of doom on my web site. Day after day my “fans” would have seen “Great time to do something creative!” “Great time to do something charitable!” “Great time to have an important discussion!” I never “predicted” trouble and I never made it look like someone should avoid doing something due to stupid planets humping along in their stupid orbits. Every day was sunshine, lollipops and rainbows no matter what the planets were “doing.” Lord, did the “fans” think I was dumb and naive!
3. I discovered that RAP philosophy (not to dignify it) also included a demented method of “interpreting numbers” called numerology that was also as depressive, counterintuitive and anti-reality thing as I had ever seen. So I did an interpretation of the “daily number” that was always, well, you guessed it, a good day to do something no matter what the number was. Numerologists are stupid morons on a good day. I’ve blogged about this before so I won’t hammer it again in this posting. But understand that my web site was a way to subvert another stupid and wicked practice once I read up on it enough to understand what harm it was causing.
4. In an effort to get people to stop looking at the sky and their own butt holes, I introduced a daily quote from a poet or author. I’d use the pretense of looking up famous births for the day, but instead of focusing on celebrities (don’t even get me started on that) I kept a number of sources to look up birthdays of poets, artists, authors and historical figures. I would post snips of their poems, for example. I never said moronic things like “Oh look, what a typical Gemini thing to say.” Subversive.
5. I wrote essays that were analogies and parables. They were basically analogies and parables that starred astrology concepts. For example, a man would try to build a house, and wise old Saturn, who he meets in town, is the one who kept the man from building on a floodplain. I wrote about towns that have as their mayor a Zodiac sign. I tried to make them funny and imaginative. My purpose was to reintroduce people who were looking at imaginary or real hunks of rock and their own butt holes to looking at human nature and possibilities, and the incredible range of behavior and choices that people have. So these people were named signs of the Zodiac and manifested their stereotyped qualities, but I was trying to be subversive in introducing people to a realistic, funny and charitable view of humans as they really are, not robots in some mean and stupid imaginary karma A-hole machine.
Anyway, I hated doing it because like I said, it’s all part of the waste of years of humanity in chasing the occult and coveting power, control and wealth, and I don’t like writing about the unreal. But I don’t regret the success that I did have in subversion, because I know that while at first people dismissed me as being a particularly fat and dense ignoramus who just can’t seem to take a hint about the “wisdom” out there about “who I really am and who everyone really is” (boo hoo hoo, puff and snort), over a period of time they had to start wondering why I was so unchanging. I do think the time and pain that I spent on it was probably the only way to get them to hear the clue phone ringing.
I would occasionally do a “for pay” reading, usually less than $50. Why is this? Because in the real world of the institutional church, there is a secular misunderstanding that somehow people “with spiritual gifts” should “give them away.” That is part of a demonic temptation that seeks to withhold cold hard cash funding from Christians, to be honest. The words of Jesus are often twisted by those who seek to undermine Christians to make it sound like people should give away their services for free. Yes, religion is free. But a man who presides over a wedding should get a fee, since he sits there and prepares services for you; he’s not just sitting by you while in free prayer. So when this subject came up, I, in my secret thoughts, weighed whether to not accept payment and that way not seem to endorse that anything RAP is worth paying one plugged nickel for, versus another chance to realign these people’s thoughts properly, which is that Christian preachers, for example, deserve financial support, but not because religion is being bought or sold.
I illustrated it when my friend told me she no longer had money to pay me for my counseling. I continued to do it, gladly, and accepted in payment the occasional photograph that she took of roses. Barter is something I strongly believe in and that is a great return to the foundational church where the Apostles preached in return for room and board, food and clothing. I have an overall plan of “how I would do things” that includes a huge network of coop, barter, guild and charitable swap of services. The balance is to recognize that the members of the institutional church deserve compensation for services, and that is not the same as “selling the faith.” However, money corrupts, there’s no question about it. So I tried to answer the RAP fee question by demonstrating service has value, but religion is free, and that mutually charitable swapping that does not involve money is the best where at all possible. One priest whose blog I read has a wish list on Amazon and I think that is a GREAT idea, and I’ve bought him items from his list. It is a way that people can support him for his service (the enormous time he puts into education and sharing of news on his blog) without trying to discern “a price” for his service AND without forcing him to be distracted from his religious calling by having to do unnecessary money handling and accounting for his needs.
Well, so there is more from the memory bank, and what a not fun and wasteful ride it’s been.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Part Two: How I tried to handle astrologers
I actually discovered even worse, more disturbing things. But I will save discussing those until part three of this blog posting series because they were things I pieced together toward the end of my tolerance and time of being among these people. Here I’d like to describe the positive ways that I tried to handle the astrologers.
I stocked up in books about astrology so that I could learn the lingo. I didn’t want to become an expert in a delusional and false activity. I simply wanted to know enough about how to participate. I got my “credentials” quickly because I told them that I used to do tarot card readings in college and that I know how to do I Ching (a Chinese method of divination). Of course in those early days I had no way of knowing that these creeps had been stalking me and well knew what books I had, what hobbies I had and what “talents” I had (though they of course did not know about my Christian authority). Because I could not believe my eyes even in the early days of reading the message board, I asked one of the “foremost astrologers” if it was really true that they could predict earthquakes. A major earthquake had just taken place in Turkey. She answered in the affirmative and she’s the one who eventually “encouraged” me to do readings. So I thought to myself, “Oh my God. They not only believe this crap but they think they can predict natural events like earthquakes.” So I plunged in and started “doing readings.”
My purpose in doing readings was to start to nudge people who were asking questions away from astrology depressive and manipulative mindset and toward something more normal and non-occult. Here’s what I mean. Remember my example about learning the astrology land language, where “How are you?” is translated into astrology land language and attitude as “How much of the shit that you are doomed to do have you accomplished today?” I tried to do readings where I was trying to shift their mindset from “How much of that shit that you are doomed to have you accomplished today?” to “Wow, what a nice astrology chart you have! I bet that you’ll be doing something really nice today!” This incurred the scorn of the “real” astrologers who believe in “giving people hard messages” and “telling it like it is” (i.e. nihilistic, self destructive, manipulative and depressive). I tried to live up to my nickname from one of my Wall Street jobs as “Doris Day,” ha ha. I never saw an astrology chart that I didn’t like or wasn’t full of positivity and capabilities. I never saw a “no” as an answer to a question. I didn’t “wait” for “tight” aspects between planets, if planets were even in waving distance I’d say, “Wow! What great aspects you have! Go for it!” I’m paraphrasing by the way, obviously, since I’m not using astrology speak here in this blog, though I will give an example shortly. But I never discouraged people in their relationships, never “foresaw” bad news, never told people to “wait” before doing something, especially is that something was good or charitable in nature. I was just little Mary Sunshine in all my readings. I was trying to covertly demonstrate to people that there is really nothing that they can gain from astrology that they cannot gain by just having a normal non-occult charitable and positive mindset and lifestyle. But remember, these people “knew” who they thought I was (their stupid and evil reincarnation beliefs) so many who asked for readings were cultists pretending to be “fans.” Because they thought that I have some access to dark and light powers (but unknowingly because I’m a dumb blind idiot remember) I was a popular requester for readings and had a huge “waiting list” because people thought I’d “channel” to them some of the occult knowledge that I possessed but was “unaware” of having. Argh. I didn’t really understand the level of that double play until the latter years of 2000-3, because I thought there were still some normal but misguided and seeking people around. If there are they were mostly kept away from me. I hated doing the readings because they are time consuming and total destructive crap. Wherever I could I shifted my dialogue away from astrology and toward psychology and behavior modification techniques so that I didn’t’ have to wallow in the crud of astrology and waste my time. Where they insisted on occult means I tried for faster techniques such as tarot cards or I Ching. Now remember, I’m not actually doing any occult readings or forecasting per se. I was using the tarot cards or I Ching to get a “layout” but then I was using my, for lack of better words, “Christian authority” to deliver an authentic inspirational message that is consistent with what they would have discerned had they prayed to the Holy Spirit and been mainstream pious believers. No one can tap into or discern my inner prayer life that is the source of my Christian authority. Even if someone “read my thoughts” my thoughts, as conveyed by the brain with neurons and electro impulses and so forth, are not the means by which I have spiritual sourcing. So the best mind reader in the world would not have been able to “overhear” the source of my Christian authority. In this way I could “front” that I was doing an occult reading, but be within complete assurance of both medically and spiritually I am following the maxim to “Do no harm.”
Here is one of the fundamental events that transpired to show you how this works. One of the main “psychic astrologers” asked me to do a reading regarding three different pieces of her regular professional work that she was submitting to different potential buyers. She wanted to know which one would succeed. I did the readings for each, “using I Ching,” and each one came out as successful (this being what I discerned through my Christian authority). The fact that all three came out equally successful AND that far from being thrilled with that answer, she was surly and disappointed was a huge light bulb going off for me as to what they were up to. I realized that she had presented me with three different occult scenarios based on her secret coven activities and beliefs about alternative ways to “manipulate” the “balance,” and that these really were not pieces of regular work through which she had hoped to get employment or gain as she had said. See, the Holy Spirit keeps me very well informed. The Holy Spirit indicated that it didn’t really matter which of the three she used by having me say that “all three are successful.” She was weighing alternative actions based on occult bull shit. All will “work” or “succeed” if your objective is to do occult bull shit. This is why she didn’t jump up and down with joy that she will “get the prize or the contract” via any or all of her three “pieces of work” like a normal person would have who really was writing a book or a script. These people thought that even though I was a moron who “didn’t know who she really was” that I had a connection to an ability to forecast outcomes. Yep, but not in the way they thought.
Now, to close this section here is the example that I promised I’d discuss of how I tried to use astrology concepts to expand their charitable thinking about themselves, others and life in general. I learned that there is a technique in astrology called “progression.” In progression one assumes that one’s birth astrology chart “ages” over time just as a human does. They use idiotic formulas (worse, even quote the Bible in one place), such as the sun moves from sign to sign at a rate where one year of life is like your astrology chart “aged” one day. So if a person is born when the sun is in Aries, then for every year that they are alive their progressed astrology chart “moves” their sun one degree forward until eventually it enters Taurus, and then Gemini, etc. So the person is more of a “pure” Aries when they are a child, and then as they older they become “more Taurus.” It takes 30 years to go through a sign from end to end, so if you were born when the sun was halfway through Aries, your “progressed sun” would “enter” Taurus when you are fifteen years old. It would then move through Taurus for thirty years until entering Gemini when you are forty-five years old, etc. etc. Now, true believers take this to a maniacal degree, no pun intended. They use the “progressed chart” to map the “aging” of the planets, the moon and the sun, and the angles between them, claiming that this like clockwork predicts the preordained (and doomed via destiny and karma) detailed events that will happen in your life. I remember the book I read this technique in used Adlai Stevenson the politician, no lie, as their example of how “everything” in his life is “set forth” and “laid out” in his “progressed chart.” It was so giggly and stupid to be literally unreadable, that example with Stevenson, but I had a strong stomach by then. But it gave me an idea of how to break away from the “destiny” and “doom” due to “past lives” and “karma” that these “spiritual” cretins have been brainwashed into believing (and then brainwash others). So when I had to use “real” astrology terms and charts I emphasized that the progression is an “adding on” of opportunities and talents. So rather than the person in the above example of being “an Aries becoming more Taurus” I would describe it as a tool box. (Which caused much secret hilarity up the sleeves of my cultist secret audience because there’s a really warped musical, um, band called Tool that is very dark and disturbing). Anyway, I would tell people that I was reading for that yes, they are “an Aries” but when their sun or whatever “moves” through “progression” into Taurus, they don’t “turn into more of a Taurus” but they now add a lot of Taurus life tools to the Aries tools in their tool box.
So rather than the progressed chart being the “destiny karma doom march of life events” I tried to use it to make people think of themselves as humans really are: they get better and more versatile with age. Now, remember there are ten “planets” in astrology (Sun, Moon and the eight planets) distributed among twelve signs (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces). I thought, “Well, if these people are determined to ‘believe in’ astrology, then I’m going to teach them a way that dilutes the negativity and limitations by showing that everyone has “access” to all “talents and positive possibilities” “in their chart.” At any given time I could show anyone that they already have at least “half” of the “talents and possibilities” if you counted the locations of all their “planets” in all the “signs” and “what they mean” and then show that they have already also “progressed” and therefore “added” to their “tool box” “talents and possibilities” from THOSE areas of their chart too. I was subversive. I’ll teach you one day how to be subversive, which is a rare and positive talent. Subversive is where you go along with something that is wrong and defang it and make it more righteous. It’s not the same as sabotage at all, which is destructive. Real subversion has goodness as its objective. Subversion is transformative, but is definitely an out of the box technique that is very much misunderstood since the 1960’s. I have subversive humor, for example, and found that I got crucified as people eavesdropped (yes, as in bugging) on my conversations containing the humor and totally did not understand its subversive good objectives. I’ll write about that sometime but have to be honest, it’s a very painful and undeserved back stabbing that happened in my life at the hands of the very groups I have tried to help, so I’m in no hurry to write about it because just people would have asked a long time ago.
I stocked up in books about astrology so that I could learn the lingo. I didn’t want to become an expert in a delusional and false activity. I simply wanted to know enough about how to participate. I got my “credentials” quickly because I told them that I used to do tarot card readings in college and that I know how to do I Ching (a Chinese method of divination). Of course in those early days I had no way of knowing that these creeps had been stalking me and well knew what books I had, what hobbies I had and what “talents” I had (though they of course did not know about my Christian authority). Because I could not believe my eyes even in the early days of reading the message board, I asked one of the “foremost astrologers” if it was really true that they could predict earthquakes. A major earthquake had just taken place in Turkey. She answered in the affirmative and she’s the one who eventually “encouraged” me to do readings. So I thought to myself, “Oh my God. They not only believe this crap but they think they can predict natural events like earthquakes.” So I plunged in and started “doing readings.”
My purpose in doing readings was to start to nudge people who were asking questions away from astrology depressive and manipulative mindset and toward something more normal and non-occult. Here’s what I mean. Remember my example about learning the astrology land language, where “How are you?” is translated into astrology land language and attitude as “How much of the shit that you are doomed to do have you accomplished today?” I tried to do readings where I was trying to shift their mindset from “How much of that shit that you are doomed to have you accomplished today?” to “Wow, what a nice astrology chart you have! I bet that you’ll be doing something really nice today!” This incurred the scorn of the “real” astrologers who believe in “giving people hard messages” and “telling it like it is” (i.e. nihilistic, self destructive, manipulative and depressive). I tried to live up to my nickname from one of my Wall Street jobs as “Doris Day,” ha ha. I never saw an astrology chart that I didn’t like or wasn’t full of positivity and capabilities. I never saw a “no” as an answer to a question. I didn’t “wait” for “tight” aspects between planets, if planets were even in waving distance I’d say, “Wow! What great aspects you have! Go for it!” I’m paraphrasing by the way, obviously, since I’m not using astrology speak here in this blog, though I will give an example shortly. But I never discouraged people in their relationships, never “foresaw” bad news, never told people to “wait” before doing something, especially is that something was good or charitable in nature. I was just little Mary Sunshine in all my readings. I was trying to covertly demonstrate to people that there is really nothing that they can gain from astrology that they cannot gain by just having a normal non-occult charitable and positive mindset and lifestyle. But remember, these people “knew” who they thought I was (their stupid and evil reincarnation beliefs) so many who asked for readings were cultists pretending to be “fans.” Because they thought that I have some access to dark and light powers (but unknowingly because I’m a dumb blind idiot remember) I was a popular requester for readings and had a huge “waiting list” because people thought I’d “channel” to them some of the occult knowledge that I possessed but was “unaware” of having. Argh. I didn’t really understand the level of that double play until the latter years of 2000-3, because I thought there were still some normal but misguided and seeking people around. If there are they were mostly kept away from me. I hated doing the readings because they are time consuming and total destructive crap. Wherever I could I shifted my dialogue away from astrology and toward psychology and behavior modification techniques so that I didn’t’ have to wallow in the crud of astrology and waste my time. Where they insisted on occult means I tried for faster techniques such as tarot cards or I Ching. Now remember, I’m not actually doing any occult readings or forecasting per se. I was using the tarot cards or I Ching to get a “layout” but then I was using my, for lack of better words, “Christian authority” to deliver an authentic inspirational message that is consistent with what they would have discerned had they prayed to the Holy Spirit and been mainstream pious believers. No one can tap into or discern my inner prayer life that is the source of my Christian authority. Even if someone “read my thoughts” my thoughts, as conveyed by the brain with neurons and electro impulses and so forth, are not the means by which I have spiritual sourcing. So the best mind reader in the world would not have been able to “overhear” the source of my Christian authority. In this way I could “front” that I was doing an occult reading, but be within complete assurance of both medically and spiritually I am following the maxim to “Do no harm.”
Here is one of the fundamental events that transpired to show you how this works. One of the main “psychic astrologers” asked me to do a reading regarding three different pieces of her regular professional work that she was submitting to different potential buyers. She wanted to know which one would succeed. I did the readings for each, “using I Ching,” and each one came out as successful (this being what I discerned through my Christian authority). The fact that all three came out equally successful AND that far from being thrilled with that answer, she was surly and disappointed was a huge light bulb going off for me as to what they were up to. I realized that she had presented me with three different occult scenarios based on her secret coven activities and beliefs about alternative ways to “manipulate” the “balance,” and that these really were not pieces of regular work through which she had hoped to get employment or gain as she had said. See, the Holy Spirit keeps me very well informed. The Holy Spirit indicated that it didn’t really matter which of the three she used by having me say that “all three are successful.” She was weighing alternative actions based on occult bull shit. All will “work” or “succeed” if your objective is to do occult bull shit. This is why she didn’t jump up and down with joy that she will “get the prize or the contract” via any or all of her three “pieces of work” like a normal person would have who really was writing a book or a script. These people thought that even though I was a moron who “didn’t know who she really was” that I had a connection to an ability to forecast outcomes. Yep, but not in the way they thought.
Now, to close this section here is the example that I promised I’d discuss of how I tried to use astrology concepts to expand their charitable thinking about themselves, others and life in general. I learned that there is a technique in astrology called “progression.” In progression one assumes that one’s birth astrology chart “ages” over time just as a human does. They use idiotic formulas (worse, even quote the Bible in one place), such as the sun moves from sign to sign at a rate where one year of life is like your astrology chart “aged” one day. So if a person is born when the sun is in Aries, then for every year that they are alive their progressed astrology chart “moves” their sun one degree forward until eventually it enters Taurus, and then Gemini, etc. So the person is more of a “pure” Aries when they are a child, and then as they older they become “more Taurus.” It takes 30 years to go through a sign from end to end, so if you were born when the sun was halfway through Aries, your “progressed sun” would “enter” Taurus when you are fifteen years old. It would then move through Taurus for thirty years until entering Gemini when you are forty-five years old, etc. etc. Now, true believers take this to a maniacal degree, no pun intended. They use the “progressed chart” to map the “aging” of the planets, the moon and the sun, and the angles between them, claiming that this like clockwork predicts the preordained (and doomed via destiny and karma) detailed events that will happen in your life. I remember the book I read this technique in used Adlai Stevenson the politician, no lie, as their example of how “everything” in his life is “set forth” and “laid out” in his “progressed chart.” It was so giggly and stupid to be literally unreadable, that example with Stevenson, but I had a strong stomach by then. But it gave me an idea of how to break away from the “destiny” and “doom” due to “past lives” and “karma” that these “spiritual” cretins have been brainwashed into believing (and then brainwash others). So when I had to use “real” astrology terms and charts I emphasized that the progression is an “adding on” of opportunities and talents. So rather than the person in the above example of being “an Aries becoming more Taurus” I would describe it as a tool box. (Which caused much secret hilarity up the sleeves of my cultist secret audience because there’s a really warped musical, um, band called Tool that is very dark and disturbing). Anyway, I would tell people that I was reading for that yes, they are “an Aries” but when their sun or whatever “moves” through “progression” into Taurus, they don’t “turn into more of a Taurus” but they now add a lot of Taurus life tools to the Aries tools in their tool box.
So rather than the progressed chart being the “destiny karma doom march of life events” I tried to use it to make people think of themselves as humans really are: they get better and more versatile with age. Now, remember there are ten “planets” in astrology (Sun, Moon and the eight planets) distributed among twelve signs (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces). I thought, “Well, if these people are determined to ‘believe in’ astrology, then I’m going to teach them a way that dilutes the negativity and limitations by showing that everyone has “access” to all “talents and positive possibilities” “in their chart.” At any given time I could show anyone that they already have at least “half” of the “talents and possibilities” if you counted the locations of all their “planets” in all the “signs” and “what they mean” and then show that they have already also “progressed” and therefore “added” to their “tool box” “talents and possibilities” from THOSE areas of their chart too. I was subversive. I’ll teach you one day how to be subversive, which is a rare and positive talent. Subversive is where you go along with something that is wrong and defang it and make it more righteous. It’s not the same as sabotage at all, which is destructive. Real subversion has goodness as its objective. Subversion is transformative, but is definitely an out of the box technique that is very much misunderstood since the 1960’s. I have subversive humor, for example, and found that I got crucified as people eavesdropped (yes, as in bugging) on my conversations containing the humor and totally did not understand its subversive good objectives. I’ll write about that sometime but have to be honest, it’s a very painful and undeserved back stabbing that happened in my life at the hands of the very groups I have tried to help, so I’m in no hurry to write about it because just people would have asked a long time ago.
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