The three simple steps to God and faith

This is the plainest and simplest way to understand the direct path toward faith in God.

1. Truth: knowledge that he exists

This is supposed to be presented to children at the youngest age, at the same time that they understand who they are, who their parents and other relatives are, and identity of people in general. Children need to be told that God exists, but cannot be seen. When children ask how do we know God exists, explain that many people have seen and spoken with him a long time ago and they left the book (the Bible) that states that he is there and what happened. Children of Islam, the same understanding is given to children about God's existence and the book of the Qur'an. As Christian children grow older they start to understand that God proved his existence in latter years by sending his Son Jesus Christ.

You see, you cannot have faith or reach God if you don't accept that people a lot closer to God than you have testified to his existence and left records of that in the Bible and the Qur'an. If you try to "have faith" or "understand if God exists" you are unlikely to succeed because you are starting with the unspoken assumption that you are smarter or closer to the truth than the authors of the Bible and the Qur'an, and you most certainly are not. This is why you cannot "logic" or "faith" your way to God. You have to first understand that impeccable witness has been given through thousands of years by people who know and saw with their own eyes. No one can duplicate or surpass that; you simply have to accept the facts of the written Word.

2. Love and goodness: You understand that all love and goodness comes ultimately from God, not humans, plants, animals or imaginary beings.

Thus immediately upon accepting the facts, the truth, that God exists, one understands, accepts and embraces that God IS love, that God is all the goodness that ever existed and could ever exist. This is where the child (and those late to finding God) accept the gift of love and give all glory and credit to God for the goodness of creation, the goodness of life, and any blessings. In other words, one understands God's true being, his identity. One can therefore start to develop one's own personal relationship with God. Children start by accompanying their parents in prayer and worship.

3. Consequences of disbelief and sin: You understand that achieving heaven and being with God in eternity is by no means guaranteed, and that sin displeases God mightily and he will react accordingly.

This is something that teenagers, young adults and often extended to middle age adults grapple with but absolutely must not deny or dodge. Children start to learn this from parents and also their worship community, as they recognize right from wrong in general, and what sin is and how it aggrieves God specifically. Sin is understood to be not only an offense against God but also working in opposition and contradiction to what God alone understands is good for each person and for humanity in general. That understanding often comes with age, but no one is guaranteed the time to "find that out in one's own time" so again, children when they reach appropriate ages of understanding must be taught the balance between a loving and forgiving God, but the grave error in taking that for granted and indeed jeopardizing one's relationship with God.

That third stage is the first of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, "Fear of the Lord."

Notice that this foundational gift, which is needed before other gifts can truly be received from the Holy Spirit, is thus the first step in the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, but the third step in having faith in God. Faith in God requires: acceptance of his truth of existence, acceptance of his love and goodness, and knowledge of the consequences of sin and disbelief. When you have that "package" of those three steps, you have faith in God, and you are ready to start receiving the unmerited grace of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, the first of which is "Fear of the Lord."

I hope this has been helpful to parents, children, young people, caregivers, preachers, those responsible for faith formation, and those who are patching and repairing their faith journey, which they may have been deprived of in total, or had missteps along the way.

Age of youth responsibility-a bit more

Without getting into a large theology and religious ritual and sacraments discussion, let me touch on some of the implications of what I wrote about for the seven year olds.

It is ironic that in a modern society filled with a lot of hot air about self examination and self discovery that many applaud the abandonment of the longest living and most justified form of it, which is childhood confession.

Think back to Biblical, and Qur'anic society. If a child sinned or committed an offense, the child was responsible and there was a code of punishment that the parents would have to follow on the child's behalf to atone. For example, beside any legal or civic judgment the Israelite parent would have to perform certain sacrifices at the temple to atone to God. This meant that two things were going on. One is that there is a process by which confession and atonement is followed. The other is that there is an understanding that one must only punish the child when the child has achieved an age of reason. Thus all the faiths, Judaism, Christianity and Islam, are founded in an understanding that knowledge of sin and wrong doing is a reality once a child is old enough to achieve an age of reason AND that regardless of secular restitution (let's say the child stole something) there is also a purification process needed before God.

This is why the Catholic Church has taught the sacrament of Confession, (now called Penance and Reconciliation in order to emphasis that confession is not enough but genuine regret and reconciliation is also needed) starting at the age of seven.

Children at that age have been recognized throughout history, both secular and faith history, that they have achieved the age of reason and they should and must know right from wrong. That's why children are well along at being in school by then, I mean, think about it. It is a traditional and vital part of Christian faith that children know how to discern that they have sinned and confess their sins. How do we know "that is in the Bible?" When Jesus warned about those who lead children into sin, implicit in that remark is that people are able to recognize sin when it occurs, and that includes children who have reached the age of reason.

There is no more maturity process than one by which parents and their church teach children not only what is "right from wrong" but "what is a sin" and furthermore, how to avail one's self of confession and cleansing of that sin. Why in the world do some denominations think that children do not need to recognize and confess their sins? It is part of raising a well balanced child, rather than letting society and soft porn TV do it for you.

I remember when I was six years old, approaching seven, of course, and playing around with my Catholic child friends and we'd joke that we only had a few months to go before we were accountable to God for anything we did wrong! Remember, I'm not speaking of raising children to "behave," to be "good" and "play nice." I'm speaking here of children who are raised properly who also are able by the age of seven to discern sin in themselves and others, and to have a God given process by which to repent, confess and atone.

I cannot begin to describe to you what a difference in producing mature youngsters than that, and that is the way it used to be.

This is why the Catechism of the Catholic Church makes this comment in another context, which is regarding preparation for the sacrament of Holy Communion (the "Lord's Supper" as some non-Catholics call it):

1244 The Latin Church, which reserves admission to Holy Communion to those who have attained the age of reason...

In other words, the Catholic Church teaches to seven year olds how to initiate the sacrament of Confession in order to prepare for the sacrament of Holy Communion because no one should partake in Holy Communion (or the "Lord's Supper") who is not able to discern their own sin and repent it. When I was growing up seven year old children who then went to their First Confession and First Communion from that point onward availed themselves of "going to Confession" whenever they felt the need.

Can people today only fantasize about a time when eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve year old children would on their own initiative self-examine and decide that they needed to go to Confession? That was indeed how it was when I was growing up and indeed as children several of us would go together, not at prompting by parents or priests, when it was time to go.

Can you see what I mean by 1) how misunderstood the Catholic faith is and 2) how infantilized our modern children are? The "Greatest Generation," that Catholic component, was raised like that, for the most part, where children knew very well not only what was a crime, or what was bad behavior, but what was also sin and they took their own responsibility for initiating and carrying out their sacrament of Confession.

Leave aside the argument, the old, tired arguments, about the role of a priest in Confession. Do not even try to pretend that those of you who teach that "confession is between 'myself' and God and 'does not need a so called mediator'" are raising your children-no matter how good they are-to be at that age as introspective and recognizing of sin in themselves and others as was done traditionally. I cannot even compare the seven year old child of Biblical times, the seven year old child of early Islamic times, and the seven year old child of the early, middle and even later Christian times with the seven year old child of today and how blind to sin.... even worse than that, how blind and eager and self excusing for sin that they have become!

Children are eager to be grown up and adults have robbed them of one of the most fundamental gifts of the faith which is at the age of reason to recognize and self examine for sin, to elect to reject sin, and to have sacramental self initiated means to confess and repent sin.

Please do think about that. Children are eager to be all grown up, and instead of the ways they have always learned to be "grown up," which is to recognize, shun and repent sin, that has been taken from them, a vital part of becoming a genuine child of God upon their age of reason.

Like I said, I am not trying to have a theological discussion or debate here. I guess you might think of this as part of the "faith and reasoning" series I am teaching, where I am showing you that far from being hocus-pocus, faith in God makes total sense and has for hundreds, indeed thousands of years been reality paced with factual human development. So think about it and you young people in particular, imagine what it was like to be raised where at seven years old you could not only discern "right from wrong" and being "good from bad," but also examine yourself (and observe others) to discern sin and what displeases God, and to have the religious gift at your own initiation to partake of, as I had when I was growing up. I cannot believe it, many times as I look around, at how children have been robbed of both their childhood and their access to mature religious participation at their own free will.

Further, often children would confess to sins and the priest would counsel them in the privacy of the confessional that perhaps their tentatively confessed feelings of envy or so forth were not actually full out sins, but temptations and normal human weaknesses. Far from being strict, children who worried that perhaps wishing they had something as nice as what the neighbor's child had was not a sin of envy or coveting, but a natural feeling of sadness, wistfulness. The priest would be, and often was back then, a reassuring figure in a child's discernment of sin rather than a harsh taskmaster. I remember my friends would discuss among ourselves "I wonder if that feeling was a sin" and the child who wondered would report after confession what the priest said, and the reassurances he gave, or the gentle warnings he would impart. That is, again, why it's not just a matter of being "between me and God" but confession with that mediator present does not mean the priest is forgiving sins instead of God, but is able to, as was documented to as early as the second century of Christianity, provide context for the one confessing regarding the dimensions and impact of their sin. Catholic kids used to discuss their sins and what the priest said all the time and it was a huge part of the development of their real and active faith. Kids need spiritual feedback that is real and access that is under their control more than even, particularly in these fake times.... especially when at best good godly parents but they are still sway to the temptations of the world, and at worst the the baby momma's drug using and child abusing boyfriend are far from being the ultimate resource in sin discernment!

Case study of bad advice: "Dear Abby"

I tend to ignore the "Dear Abby" column, but sometimes see it because Sudoku and "Ask Billy Graham" are on the same page. But I spotted a particularly awful reply today, one that is outstanding over other poor responses, so here it is, as a goldmine for our continuing look at how to use faith and reasoning.

You can see the column online today at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

In case by the time you see this post the topic has changed, here is the snip of the one we will analyze.

DEAR ABBY: Our mom had a major cow when she found out that my sister and I are wearing thong underwear. We buy and wash our own clothes, so Mom didn't realize it until the other day when she walked in on us while we were getting dressed.
Well, Mom says it's "sinful," if you can believe that, and she has forbidden us from wearing them. But Abby, it's what all the girls wear these days, so if we're sinners, so is everyone else. We'll be the only girls in the locker room not wearing thongs, and we'll look really stupid. Do you see anything wrong with thong underwear? -- SAN DIEGO SINNER?

DEAR SINNER?: No, evil is in the eye of the beholder. But frankly, I have never understood the thong underwear fad. For many decades women have struggled to keep their panties from bunching up exactly where the thong is designed to go -- and the feeling is really uncomfortable.
Readers, I'm taking a poll on this: Thongs "up" or thongs "down"? What do you think?

***

The weakness of this answer is totally appalling on every level. First of all, "Dear Abby" could have taken the obvious and easy route, which is to ask "With whose money do you purchase thong underwear? If it comes from your parents in the form of allowance, you are bound to respect the one restriction that your mother is placing on your 'freedom of clothing choice.'" The fact that "Dear Abby" does not even mention it is continuing sign that she is just another enabler of the deterioration of mutual responsibility in parent-child relationships.

This is reinforced by the fact that "Dear Abby" cannot wait to dive into her "hip and cool" persona of fashionista. She can't wait to comment that while she doesn't like the fashion that it's anything goes, even for teenagers who still live at home! That is, after all, what she is saying with her curious use of "No, evil is in the eye of the beholder."

So this points us to the main problem, which is that "Dear Abby" is demonstrating that one cannot ask her a question that has moral implications, as she is too concerned with being all liberal and open-minded, so called, that she no longer sees anymore behavior that is harmful to children, and she misses chances to reply in a character building way. She's just shown herself to be part of the coarsening of society because she is unable to articulate a thoughtful reply. Because it is easier to demonstrate through good role modeling than to explain "how to," here is how I would have replied.

Dear Sinner?
When your mom says that something is sinful, that is really short-hand (think of it as mental texting) for a more thoughtful and complicated concern about you and your friends than she was able to articulate to you. One thing that you ought to do is have a general discussion with your mother about how she learned about what is sin and what is not, and why her faith teaches such distinctions, so that you have the benefit of her faith, which has been handed down to her.

Otherwise you assume that something being sinful is, to your mother, just being a prudish expression of her being old-fashioned. This is because, correctly, you think, "Well, what is the harm with wearing thong underwear? If there is no harm, why is it a sin?" You should help your mother have that conversation with you, so you can discuss the "why" that something is a sin, when no one seems to be harmed.

To help you, here is how I would have the conversation with you. When you are children living at home, despite how advanced society seems to have become, your first job is to be a child, and to enjoy life before the fullness of its problems and pressures falls upon you. Part of having a pressure free childhood, including into the teens, is to resist becoming sexually active. Believe me, the time of childhood and youth passes fast enough, when then one is an adult, both legally and emotionally, and you must face the joys and the sorrows of life. Being sexually active as a child or a teenager does not enhance one's happiness, but rather, curtails it, putting pressure on you beyond what you should be experiencing, which is family relationship, studies, sports, art and friendships and yes, of course, dating, if you are of age and so inclined.

When you participate in the "everyone else is wearing thongs in the locker room" pressure, you are helping everyone be swept away by the pressure of sexualizing when one is young, putting aside the obvious problems of hormones! If you and your friends held fast to not wearing sexualizing underwear, you are actually doing your friends a favor by demonstrating that not everyone has to sink to the lowest form of sexualizing emphasis at that time in your life. Instead of talking about sports and other things in the locker room, you are participating in visual assessment of how sexualized you, as children and youth, have become. So you are mutually supporting each other's focus on sexualization, rather than mutually supporting each other in having pressure reduced time as children and students. That is why your mother, even if she cannot articulate it, thinks of thong underwear as sinful. Sin is not just doing a bad deed, but it is also the mindset that leads others into sin.

Sometimes one truly shows what a role model you are by not going with the crowd, so that you can show the crowd a better choice. My happy ending to this story would be that you continue to wear cute but modest underwear, and then the other girls would see your calmness and proper focus on what really is important in life to you as a child or youth, and they would actually copy you, returning to cute but modest underwear themselves!

While it seems that those who preach against sin are only saying "no," what we, like your mother, are trying to do is to give you more options in life, not less. I hope that you find this helpful.

Sincerely,
Mary Major (not cow) Fan

Drug dealing teens risk hell upon death

I hate to be the one who has to constantly explain the negative and harsh realities of sin. If I were living several hundred years ago, I would not have to do this because people were much more realistic about understanding the consequences of sin and the reality of God and his rule. People got periodic reminders (through "fire and brimstone" sermons), but as a whole, people of all faiths were quite aware that being in a state of continual sin upon death yielded eternal punishment in hell, and cost them any opportunity to receive mercy and merit heaven. Also, it is only recently that society has given the opportunity for "adult" sin to children and youth, yet at the same time somehow fool themselves that because he or she "is just a kid" that they will not suffer the consequences of their sin should they perish as a youth. In the Catholic faith it is doctrine that children who turn seven years old well understand the difference between right and wrong, sin and virtue, and they are taught how to identify and confess sin in Church. At the age of thirteen they are "confirmed" (like Jewish bar mitzvah), which means they are expected to be knowledgable defenders of their faith. Therefore a teenager is obviously "not a child" regarding sin and their responsibility, regardless of the enabling "juvie" mentality of modern society.

So I want to select one example to make it very clear, and I'm truly sorry this is painful for many to read. The question of being an illegal drug user and addict is one thing, and only God can really tell the line between willfully sinful behavior and illness or defect in personality. However, there is no question about a drug user who also deals, enables, provides or transports. An addicted teenager who dies, having only harmed him or herself through his or her drug use, has access to mercy from God. But an addicted teenager who also enables others, even in the sharing of "small" amounts of drugs, has taken upon him or her self the leading of others, especially children or youth, into sin. Jesus warned about this in no uncertain terms. Jesus said that it would be better to cut one's own hand off, or pluck out an eye, rather than be lead into sin and worse, leading other children into sin.

I know that parents and friends like to kid themselves that a drug dealing youth who dies tragically is "at peace," "with the Lord," or "watching over his or her loved ones in spirit." I'm not trying to ruin anyone's tenuous peace of mind in their time of terrible grief, loss and mourning. But I'm trying to save you from 1) even having to have the loss because of allowing your kids to get involved in drug dealing or enabling and 2) sending your own kids and friends to hell, unknowingly, through your acquiescence in their drug dealing, only to find out the hard way when YOU die and become accountable for their sins, in portion to YOUR responsibility.

So whether you are a weak mother or a negligent absentee bad example setting father, you cannot claim to have certainty of your drug dealing or enabling child achieving heaven, and quite to the contrary, you have a lot to worry about with the other side of the equation where they end up. Additionally, YOU will be held to account for your bad example, your leading into sin, and your neglect of not only your child but also what you may be "contributing" in that regard to society.

Capiche??? I'm not speaking for God, but I am reminding you of knowledge about God and his judgment that used to be commonplace and WELL UNDERSTOOD among humans prior to these past two generations.