I hate to be the one who has to constantly explain the negative and harsh realities of sin. If I were living several hundred years ago, I would not have to do this because people were much more realistic about understanding the consequences of sin and the reality of God and his rule. People got periodic reminders (through "fire and brimstone" sermons), but as a whole, people of all faiths were quite aware that being in a state of continual sin upon death yielded eternal punishment in hell, and cost them any opportunity to receive mercy and merit heaven. Also, it is only recently that society has given the opportunity for "adult" sin to children and youth, yet at the same time somehow fool themselves that because he or she "is just a kid" that they will not suffer the consequences of their sin should they perish as a youth. In the Catholic faith it is doctrine that children who turn seven years old well understand the difference between right and wrong, sin and virtue, and they are taught how to identify and confess sin in Church. At the age of thirteen they are "confirmed" (like Jewish bar mitzvah), which means they are expected to be knowledgable defenders of their faith. Therefore a teenager is obviously "not a child" regarding sin and their responsibility, regardless of the enabling "juvie" mentality of modern society.
So I want to select one example to make it very clear, and I'm truly sorry this is painful for many to read. The question of being an illegal drug user and addict is one thing, and only God can really tell the line between willfully sinful behavior and illness or defect in personality. However, there is no question about a drug user who also deals, enables, provides or transports. An addicted teenager who dies, having only harmed him or herself through his or her drug use, has access to mercy from God. But an addicted teenager who also enables others, even in the sharing of "small" amounts of drugs, has taken upon him or her self the leading of others, especially children or youth, into sin. Jesus warned about this in no uncertain terms. Jesus said that it would be better to cut one's own hand off, or pluck out an eye, rather than be lead into sin and worse, leading other children into sin.
I know that parents and friends like to kid themselves that a drug dealing youth who dies tragically is "at peace," "with the Lord," or "watching over his or her loved ones in spirit." I'm not trying to ruin anyone's tenuous peace of mind in their time of terrible grief, loss and mourning. But I'm trying to save you from 1) even having to have the loss because of allowing your kids to get involved in drug dealing or enabling and 2) sending your own kids and friends to hell, unknowingly, through your acquiescence in their drug dealing, only to find out the hard way when YOU die and become accountable for their sins, in portion to YOUR responsibility.
So whether you are a weak mother or a negligent absentee bad example setting father, you cannot claim to have certainty of your drug dealing or enabling child achieving heaven, and quite to the contrary, you have a lot to worry about with the other side of the equation where they end up. Additionally, YOU will be held to account for your bad example, your leading into sin, and your neglect of not only your child but also what you may be "contributing" in that regard to society.
Capiche??? I'm not speaking for God, but I am reminding you of knowledge about God and his judgment that used to be commonplace and WELL UNDERSTOOD among humans prior to these past two generations.