Bad Stalker! Bad, bad stalker...

It's important that people realize that even non-violent stalking is a mortal sin. Yes, you read right, not a venial sin, but a mortal sin. The reason that it is a mortal sin is that it violates one of the Ten Commandments. The commandment is number ten, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods." Let me start by defining stalking. It is the monitoring, and influencing, of a person's activities without their knowledge and permission. This is not the friendly nosy neighbor who you know by name, and who keeps an eye on the neighborhood, if that's all he or she does. If however that nosy neighbor knows about you from going through your things, by being part of a group of people who study your every move, or attempts to manipulate your activities, that is stalking and a violation of the Tenth Commandment. The reason is that you are coveting (wishing to have for yourself) something that you are not entitled to (inside knowledge and control.) Think of this as "gossiping on crack." It's much worse than gossip because a gossip does not know but just guesses, while a stalker takes from the person private information for their own purposes. There is no such thing as innocent stalking. There is innocent gossip, and there is innocent puppy love, and there is innocent crushes, and there is innocent celebrity fan activity. But stalking of anyone, celebrity or civilians, with the intent to spy and possess something you are not entitled to is a very serious mortal sin.

Here are some examples. There is a difference between striking up a friendship with someone you meet, or fixing someone up on a blind date and pretending not to know someone and manipulate a meeting and a relationship. This, incidentally, brings into consideration breaking the Eight Commandment, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." That is because stalkers are often in possession of and distribute false information, without their even realizing it. When one is not in an honest relationship, it is easy to misinterpret activities that you have spied upon. That is bearing false witness, first by believing it, and then by spreading that to others. Stalking ruins people's lives. It destroys love and trust. It destroys families. It destroys relationships. It destroys careers. It destroys peace of mind. And ultimately, it destroys the stalker, because by not recognizing that they are committing a moral sin, regardless of whatever else they do in their lives, they do not stop the activity and seek both Church and personal reconciliation with the person who has been hurt.

Think about the life of Jesus Christ. When people approached him for healing, even the lady who touched his hem secretly for cure from her bleeding, they were not stalking him. This is because he had made himself a public figure, and all that people knew about him was in the open. However, who did stalk him? Those who eventually crucified him. They spied on him and believed that they had knowledge of what he "really" was doing and what he "really" meant. Do you think God gave such people an "atta boy" in their personal judgment? The answer is "no" in case you are puzzled!

Let me talk again about the parable I mentioned above. It is one of the most beautiful passages in the bible. Look at Matthew 9: 20-22:

Now a woman who for twelve years had been suffering from hemorrhage, came up behind him and touched the tassel of his cloak, saying to herself, "If I touch but his cloak I shall be saved." But Jesus, turning and seeing her, said, "Take courage, daughter; thy faith has saved thee." And the woman was restored to health from that moment.

Luke 8:45 describes more of what happened, in greater detail: And Jesus said "Who touched me?" And all were denying it. Peter and those who were with him said, "Master, the crowds throng and press upon thee, and does thou say, "Who touched me?" But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; for I perceived that power has gone forth from me." But the woman, seeing that she had not escaped notice, came up trembling, and falling down at his feet, declared in the presence of all the people why she touched him and how she had been healed instantly.

I have always loved this woman. She had suffered for so many years and turned to Jesus in the most humble yet strong in faith manner. Can you imagine what a bleeding for twelve years must have been like in those times? I can. And I've heard priests give wonderful homilies about this particular miraculous healing. She was clearly not stalking Jesus. He was in the part of his life where he had proclaimed his public presence and ministry, and she, like many, believed and came to him. And when Jesus felt her touch, and the apostles and others heard him inquire, she came forward and admitted to the touch. There were three great gifts here, if you think about it. One was the healing itself. One was her total and pure faith (she was not testing him, she believed.) And the third gift was the witnessing, both by the crowds then, and to everyone today, through these events being preserved in the Gospels.

Now, here is how a miracle could have gone "all wrong through stalking." Suppose that people had gone through the garbage of the family of Jesus (not that much was thrown away in those days, but let's go along with my making a contemporary example.) What if they noticed that the Jesus family always threw away the hems of their clothes after performing sewing alterations. Is there a chance that people would have concluded, if they were stalking and not asking, that there is something wrong with hems? I mean, why not save the perfectly good material of the hems and use them as curtain tie backs? And no one asked because they thought, smugly, that they had some sort of secret knowledge of the Jesus family. If this poor woman had been a stalker or had heard of this, she might never have thought to touch the hem of his garment and be cured. Worse, people would have spread the heresy that there was any part of Jesus that was not complete and pure, by reason that they think there is some like or dislike, or power in inanimate objects that the Jesus family responds to. If they had confessed and asked the Jesus family, we have gone through your garbage and notice that you throw away your hems after shortening, why is that? Imagine what they might have heard.

o We know there is a poor old man down the street who is destitute and ashamed to beg, so we put cloth out in our garbage so that he may take it in peace and weave it into a covering.

o We do not want to have long stringy things around the young children in the family, especially the cousins' children who are toddlers and get into everything, as we fear they may choke on it.

o The color of the hem cuttings do not match the curtains, and I want only the nicest, even in our poor circumstances, for my mother and father.

This is why stalking is a mortal sin. It takes knowledge that one is not entitled to and one is most likely to abuse (because if one is not abusing it, why is one doing it in secret?) And the misunderstandings and consequences are hurtful and terrible. There is no such thing as innocent stalking, and there is nothing that is not known to God, and will be answered for. Please pray for honesty, discernment, self control, and wisdom, and do not stalk.