How sweet to read, in these sad and too mechanical and cold times, a story of joy and normalcy, of real humanity.
http://www.beaumontenterprise.com/news/local/49265347.html
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Roles of father and mother with children
All the indoctrination and "political correctness" in the world will not change the fact that a child has a different relationship and need between the child's father and the child's mother. There is no one like a father in a child's life, and there is no one like a mother. This is true whether or not the child is the biological child or if there are complicated familial relationships. Every child needs his or her father and every child needs his or her mother.
To a child the mother is the image of love and security, because the mother is the giver of life to the child and the child is totally dependent on the mother both biologically and emotionally. The mother unlocks for the child the reality of being alive and of having both awareness and feelings that are safely expressed and understood.
To a child the father is the image of love and strength, because every child looks up to his or her father, regardless if the father is the strongest guy on the block, or the biggest bread winner or not. Babies are able to perceive love from each parent, and indeed they need love from each parent. But babies are also able to perceive the gender based difference between the mother and the father and indeed to do so is a survival trait that is the gift of millions of years of evolution. Humans look to the father for love that comes in the form of protection and instruction. Humans look to the mother for love that comes in the form of emotional security. It is stupid and self defeating to argue otherwise.
Both parents have roles therefore in the faith formation of their child. Children must be introduced to the reality of God at the earliest age and instructed in their family faith by both parents. There is a valuable nuance of difference in roles between the father and the mother in teaching of faith, however, one that used to be natural and instinctive, but one which now requires awareness to be made and reinforcement.
As the father figure who provides both love and strength, protection and physical security to the child, father has a particularly valuable perspective to give to his young child about God. The father should teach the child how "even daddy has someone that he looks up to for strength and protection, and that is God." Thus the child learns that there is someone so strong and reliable that even his father looks up to him and turns to him for protection. So that is the nuance that gives great dimension and perspective to the child that is unique to the father figure. Traditionally that is taught in Christian families in the context of explaining God and St. Joseph to the young child. God helps St. Joseph to protect the young baby Jesus. Children can instantly understand that, as they feel that their protection comes from their fathers.
Throughout the faith history of the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) it is the father's responsibility to ensure that the child is raised from its first days to know about God, to love and respect God, and to know the tenets of their faith. Notice I say it is the responsibility of the father; this does not mean that he is the one who does everything and has this duty as some sort of privilege of gender. Of course not and in fact, it is the mother who often provides the most quantity of religious instruction to the child. But what I am explaining is that "the buck stops here" in the well organized, loving and God fearing family, for it is the father who is ultimately responsible for how well or how poorly the child is instructed in God and his or her faith. This is why it is important for the father to explain the context and reality of God to the child at the earliest age that the child can understand, and in child appropriate ways and language of course. The father ensures that the child understands that daddy believes in God, that daddy has a relationship with God and looks to God for protection and strength, and that daddy makes sure that the child receives all that he or she needs to learn and practice their faith.
The mother has the equally important role, recognizing that nuance is complimentary rather than competitive with the father. For example, the mother is often the one to explain to the child the questions the child will later ask about human relationships from the mother, such as "Where does God come from," "Does God have a mommy and daddy," and "What is heaven like?" We all know that children tend to ask personal and intimate questions from the mother. Thus by working together the father and the mother give a fully dimensional and complimentary faith formation to the child. Another typical place that children tend to learn their faith is that mom is often the one to help them with their prayers before bed. Traditionally, moms would help with the night prayers while dads helped with saying grace before meals. That was how it was in my home, where my stepfather always ensured that grace was said at dinner, while mother's role was the night time routine with the before bed prayers.
I know that many are thinking, "Oh how Ozzie and Harriet. That's not how it is today." Well, yes and no. I am presenting the ideal, but it is the living and real ideal that worked for two thousand years and more. This is not a cool idea of mine; it is an explanation to you of how things actually worked in the Jewish, Muslim and Christian faiths for many hundreds of years. The father always had the responsibility to leverage the role modeling that he provided by virtue of simply being a father and from that perspective teach the child how father has a relationship with God that he can count on, and ensuring that the child had access to religious instruction and worship service.
Also, remember that lifespans were much shorter and unpredictable in the hardships of more primitive times. It's only in the last century that the norm was to have both parents have a good chance of avoiding early deaths from illness, conflict, poverty and in the woman's case, childbirth. So there were many households that did lose a mother or a father and yet this pattern was followed. How was that done? Obviously in the time of responsible extended families the loss of a father meant that uncles or grandparents took over the religious instruction and responsibility. There was no "gap" in the father's role to ensure religious instruction and the basics of belief in God from the earliest age. Likewise if the mother died due to illness or childbirth, or from wearing out in hardship as many men did of the time too, aunts and grandmothers equally ensured that the child had the portion of religious formation that came from the mother, with the maternal nuance that is to be expected. Older brothers and sisters also had a great responsibility and role in raising their younger siblings in the faith. And this was not a chore but a welcome activity even among children, since they enjoyed their piety and religious instruction within the family. (Remember that for most of human civilization there was no "entertainment" media, like adventure books. Children enjoyed Bible stories as children today enjoy "adventure" stories. So children loved the Bible and reading about saints because they were nonfiction adventure, to put it in a modern analogy of terminology). If you read the lives of the saints you will see that many had influential siblings and how they shared their joy in God.
There is another point I want to make about the Catholic Church's emphasis on the Communion of Saints, especially the veneration of St. Joseph and his spouse, the Blessed Virgin Mary. During the times where there were frequent deaths of a parent due to the primitive and harsh conditions of life prior to this past modern century, the child would often turn to Joseph or Mary to be their heavenly parent if one of their earthly parents perished. Thus a Catholic child who lost their father would often look toward St. Joseph as their substitute for their real father, and the child who lost their mother would look toward Mary as their substitute for their real mother. Thus there was a great comfort and role modeling provided by the Communion of Saints that complimented the roles of the earthly extended family. You can read examples of this again in the lives of the saints and other literary sources. Popes who lost one of their parents, especially the mother, have mentioned that they felt as a child or a young man a turning toward Mary as their "mother" in lieu of their own mother's earthly presence.
This is another reason why it is so vital to a child's well being to introduce them to God and instruct them in God and their faith at a very early age. Previous generations gave their children a stability of faith formation that is essential to not only spiritual well being of the child, but also their physical, mental and emotional well being. The saints were real people and real role models and, as Catholics do, teaching the child that they are "part of the family" and part of the extended family in spirit as well as the physical extended family gives the child a bulwark against feelings of extreme isolation, existentialism and alienation when life gets rough. You don't have to be a social scientist to see that the past several generations have been robbed of that right and that reality. That's why the sacrament of Baptism is performed for infants in the Catholic Church. It is not the water and the oil itself, but it is the heralding of the beginning of the child's religious instruction and privileges of knowing the Communion of Saints as their own family too. Catholics adhere to the Jewish tradition and faith that the parents instruct the children in their faith and initiate them through ritual into the faith from their very birth. (Prior to baptising the equivalent was the presentation of infants in the temple and the sacrifices made on their behalf). There is no foundation in any of the three Abrahamic faiths for "waiting" until the child "decides on their own" to have a "personal relationship with God." That very idea would have been a total scandal among Jews, Christians and Muslims.
I hope that this has given you something to think about. Fathers need to remember that there is real dignity in fatherhood and much of it comes from the God given duty that they are ultimately responsible for their child's faith formation. God frowns on the idea that boys or men think that their pride comes in being a "baby daddy" and that's it. Regardless of the circumstances of the conception, if you are old enough to be a "baby daddy" you are old enough and therefore responsible for raising the child within faith in God (and that applies whether "you" "fully believe or not.") Analogy: you give your infant milk to drink even though you may not drink milk yourself. I mean, duh.
Likewise this is not to shortchange mothers or their role and dignity in the faith formation of their children. I'm putting the onus on both parents to understand that everyone has to do more, and do more earlier and consistently for their children. It is a scandal how, even in my own family, children were raised without their faith or even being baptized. Societal "revolution" and breakdown have cheated children of their birthright in knowing God and practicing their faith. Not raising your child in your institutional mainstream faith is dumber, not smarter, low scale, not "sophisticated," depressive and not "enlightened," oppressive and not "liberating." To raise children so that they don't know of God and his love, guidance and security is scandalous and is one of the worst forms of "parental malpractice." It's also self defeating because it robs you as a parent of one of the greatest joys that parents have, and have attested to throughout the centuries, which is introducing your infants to God and teaching your children his ways, how to make their way in the world, and how to hope for achieving the Kingdom of Heaven in their turn when their time comes.
I hope that you found this helpful. It's never too late, by the way, even with grown children. Tell them what you both have missed out on and learn about God together, wherever you are and in whatever stages of life's journey.
To a child the mother is the image of love and security, because the mother is the giver of life to the child and the child is totally dependent on the mother both biologically and emotionally. The mother unlocks for the child the reality of being alive and of having both awareness and feelings that are safely expressed and understood.
To a child the father is the image of love and strength, because every child looks up to his or her father, regardless if the father is the strongest guy on the block, or the biggest bread winner or not. Babies are able to perceive love from each parent, and indeed they need love from each parent. But babies are also able to perceive the gender based difference between the mother and the father and indeed to do so is a survival trait that is the gift of millions of years of evolution. Humans look to the father for love that comes in the form of protection and instruction. Humans look to the mother for love that comes in the form of emotional security. It is stupid and self defeating to argue otherwise.
Both parents have roles therefore in the faith formation of their child. Children must be introduced to the reality of God at the earliest age and instructed in their family faith by both parents. There is a valuable nuance of difference in roles between the father and the mother in teaching of faith, however, one that used to be natural and instinctive, but one which now requires awareness to be made and reinforcement.
As the father figure who provides both love and strength, protection and physical security to the child, father has a particularly valuable perspective to give to his young child about God. The father should teach the child how "even daddy has someone that he looks up to for strength and protection, and that is God." Thus the child learns that there is someone so strong and reliable that even his father looks up to him and turns to him for protection. So that is the nuance that gives great dimension and perspective to the child that is unique to the father figure. Traditionally that is taught in Christian families in the context of explaining God and St. Joseph to the young child. God helps St. Joseph to protect the young baby Jesus. Children can instantly understand that, as they feel that their protection comes from their fathers.
Throughout the faith history of the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) it is the father's responsibility to ensure that the child is raised from its first days to know about God, to love and respect God, and to know the tenets of their faith. Notice I say it is the responsibility of the father; this does not mean that he is the one who does everything and has this duty as some sort of privilege of gender. Of course not and in fact, it is the mother who often provides the most quantity of religious instruction to the child. But what I am explaining is that "the buck stops here" in the well organized, loving and God fearing family, for it is the father who is ultimately responsible for how well or how poorly the child is instructed in God and his or her faith. This is why it is important for the father to explain the context and reality of God to the child at the earliest age that the child can understand, and in child appropriate ways and language of course. The father ensures that the child understands that daddy believes in God, that daddy has a relationship with God and looks to God for protection and strength, and that daddy makes sure that the child receives all that he or she needs to learn and practice their faith.
The mother has the equally important role, recognizing that nuance is complimentary rather than competitive with the father. For example, the mother is often the one to explain to the child the questions the child will later ask about human relationships from the mother, such as "Where does God come from," "Does God have a mommy and daddy," and "What is heaven like?" We all know that children tend to ask personal and intimate questions from the mother. Thus by working together the father and the mother give a fully dimensional and complimentary faith formation to the child. Another typical place that children tend to learn their faith is that mom is often the one to help them with their prayers before bed. Traditionally, moms would help with the night prayers while dads helped with saying grace before meals. That was how it was in my home, where my stepfather always ensured that grace was said at dinner, while mother's role was the night time routine with the before bed prayers.
I know that many are thinking, "Oh how Ozzie and Harriet. That's not how it is today." Well, yes and no. I am presenting the ideal, but it is the living and real ideal that worked for two thousand years and more. This is not a cool idea of mine; it is an explanation to you of how things actually worked in the Jewish, Muslim and Christian faiths for many hundreds of years. The father always had the responsibility to leverage the role modeling that he provided by virtue of simply being a father and from that perspective teach the child how father has a relationship with God that he can count on, and ensuring that the child had access to religious instruction and worship service.
Also, remember that lifespans were much shorter and unpredictable in the hardships of more primitive times. It's only in the last century that the norm was to have both parents have a good chance of avoiding early deaths from illness, conflict, poverty and in the woman's case, childbirth. So there were many households that did lose a mother or a father and yet this pattern was followed. How was that done? Obviously in the time of responsible extended families the loss of a father meant that uncles or grandparents took over the religious instruction and responsibility. There was no "gap" in the father's role to ensure religious instruction and the basics of belief in God from the earliest age. Likewise if the mother died due to illness or childbirth, or from wearing out in hardship as many men did of the time too, aunts and grandmothers equally ensured that the child had the portion of religious formation that came from the mother, with the maternal nuance that is to be expected. Older brothers and sisters also had a great responsibility and role in raising their younger siblings in the faith. And this was not a chore but a welcome activity even among children, since they enjoyed their piety and religious instruction within the family. (Remember that for most of human civilization there was no "entertainment" media, like adventure books. Children enjoyed Bible stories as children today enjoy "adventure" stories. So children loved the Bible and reading about saints because they were nonfiction adventure, to put it in a modern analogy of terminology). If you read the lives of the saints you will see that many had influential siblings and how they shared their joy in God.
There is another point I want to make about the Catholic Church's emphasis on the Communion of Saints, especially the veneration of St. Joseph and his spouse, the Blessed Virgin Mary. During the times where there were frequent deaths of a parent due to the primitive and harsh conditions of life prior to this past modern century, the child would often turn to Joseph or Mary to be their heavenly parent if one of their earthly parents perished. Thus a Catholic child who lost their father would often look toward St. Joseph as their substitute for their real father, and the child who lost their mother would look toward Mary as their substitute for their real mother. Thus there was a great comfort and role modeling provided by the Communion of Saints that complimented the roles of the earthly extended family. You can read examples of this again in the lives of the saints and other literary sources. Popes who lost one of their parents, especially the mother, have mentioned that they felt as a child or a young man a turning toward Mary as their "mother" in lieu of their own mother's earthly presence.
This is another reason why it is so vital to a child's well being to introduce them to God and instruct them in God and their faith at a very early age. Previous generations gave their children a stability of faith formation that is essential to not only spiritual well being of the child, but also their physical, mental and emotional well being. The saints were real people and real role models and, as Catholics do, teaching the child that they are "part of the family" and part of the extended family in spirit as well as the physical extended family gives the child a bulwark against feelings of extreme isolation, existentialism and alienation when life gets rough. You don't have to be a social scientist to see that the past several generations have been robbed of that right and that reality. That's why the sacrament of Baptism is performed for infants in the Catholic Church. It is not the water and the oil itself, but it is the heralding of the beginning of the child's religious instruction and privileges of knowing the Communion of Saints as their own family too. Catholics adhere to the Jewish tradition and faith that the parents instruct the children in their faith and initiate them through ritual into the faith from their very birth. (Prior to baptising the equivalent was the presentation of infants in the temple and the sacrifices made on their behalf). There is no foundation in any of the three Abrahamic faiths for "waiting" until the child "decides on their own" to have a "personal relationship with God." That very idea would have been a total scandal among Jews, Christians and Muslims.
I hope that this has given you something to think about. Fathers need to remember that there is real dignity in fatherhood and much of it comes from the God given duty that they are ultimately responsible for their child's faith formation. God frowns on the idea that boys or men think that their pride comes in being a "baby daddy" and that's it. Regardless of the circumstances of the conception, if you are old enough to be a "baby daddy" you are old enough and therefore responsible for raising the child within faith in God (and that applies whether "you" "fully believe or not.") Analogy: you give your infant milk to drink even though you may not drink milk yourself. I mean, duh.
Likewise this is not to shortchange mothers or their role and dignity in the faith formation of their children. I'm putting the onus on both parents to understand that everyone has to do more, and do more earlier and consistently for their children. It is a scandal how, even in my own family, children were raised without their faith or even being baptized. Societal "revolution" and breakdown have cheated children of their birthright in knowing God and practicing their faith. Not raising your child in your institutional mainstream faith is dumber, not smarter, low scale, not "sophisticated," depressive and not "enlightened," oppressive and not "liberating." To raise children so that they don't know of God and his love, guidance and security is scandalous and is one of the worst forms of "parental malpractice." It's also self defeating because it robs you as a parent of one of the greatest joys that parents have, and have attested to throughout the centuries, which is introducing your infants to God and teaching your children his ways, how to make their way in the world, and how to hope for achieving the Kingdom of Heaven in their turn when their time comes.
I hope that you found this helpful. It's never too late, by the way, even with grown children. Tell them what you both have missed out on and learn about God together, wherever you are and in whatever stages of life's journey.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Read about this amazing couple, 80 yrs married
http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_10081651
Nellie Grimes was 7 and Carl Herman, 6, in 1915 when they first laid eyes on each other in a one-room Kansas schoolhouse in the middle of the Dust Bowl.
They hit it off and began walking to school together from their nearby family farms. When the weather was bad, they'd jump on Nellie's dad's horse and let it take them to school.
Their friendship grew to love and on Aug. 18, 1928, Nellie and Carl tied the knot in the pastor's parsonage in Reserve, Kan.
Nellie, now 99, and Carl, 98, will be celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary in a few weeks surrounded by a family tree that has grown to more than 100 members since they got hitched.
"It's pretty incredible to think their marriage has lasted 80 years when a lot of marriages these days don't last 80 days," says Ben Herman, oldest of the couple's five children. He's 79.
It is pretty incredible - even more so when you know the humble, harsh beginning 80 years ago when a couple of kids, not yet even 20 years old, were starting a family during the Great Depression on farms smack in the middle of the infamous Dust Bowl.
If you want to put faces on the tough, pioneer spirit of this country, look at Nellie and Carl Herman.
"We stayed with both our families off and on after we were married, but it became harder and harder to raise crops in the middle of that dry Dust Bowl and support both families," Nellie says.
***
Awesome! God bless their whole family.
Nellie Grimes was 7 and Carl Herman, 6, in 1915 when they first laid eyes on each other in a one-room Kansas schoolhouse in the middle of the Dust Bowl.
They hit it off and began walking to school together from their nearby family farms. When the weather was bad, they'd jump on Nellie's dad's horse and let it take them to school.
Their friendship grew to love and on Aug. 18, 1928, Nellie and Carl tied the knot in the pastor's parsonage in Reserve, Kan.
Nellie, now 99, and Carl, 98, will be celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary in a few weeks surrounded by a family tree that has grown to more than 100 members since they got hitched.
"It's pretty incredible to think their marriage has lasted 80 years when a lot of marriages these days don't last 80 days," says Ben Herman, oldest of the couple's five children. He's 79.
It is pretty incredible - even more so when you know the humble, harsh beginning 80 years ago when a couple of kids, not yet even 20 years old, were starting a family during the Great Depression on farms smack in the middle of the infamous Dust Bowl.
If you want to put faces on the tough, pioneer spirit of this country, look at Nellie and Carl Herman.
"We stayed with both our families off and on after we were married, but it became harder and harder to raise crops in the middle of that dry Dust Bowl and support both families," Nellie says.
***
Awesome! God bless their whole family.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Meanwhile, I wish I was in China to help
Although I am there with the greatest spiritual attentiveness, I feel a great frustration and urge to be there in physical person to help with the earthquake recovery. People who are very child oriented and deeply love their families have gone through a terrible, terrible thing, something I, of course, deeply understand.
I also pray that those in China who have grown up in atheistic surroundings and who now experience this terrible loss can derive comfort from the knowledge that the tragic death of even one child surely does not end in nothingness. There is a heaven, there is a loving God, and all children there are treasured. Those who died to protect and save children are heroes in heaven, for Jesus said that no greater love is there than one who lays down his life for another.
Anyway, I continue to read the fine news coverage, praise the Chinese government leaders for their hands-on management and condolences in this tragedy, and pray for the best that can be achieved in rescue and recovery.
I also pray that those in China who have grown up in atheistic surroundings and who now experience this terrible loss can derive comfort from the knowledge that the tragic death of even one child surely does not end in nothingness. There is a heaven, there is a loving God, and all children there are treasured. Those who died to protect and save children are heroes in heaven, for Jesus said that no greater love is there than one who lays down his life for another.
Anyway, I continue to read the fine news coverage, praise the Chinese government leaders for their hands-on management and condolences in this tragedy, and pray for the best that can be achieved in rescue and recovery.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
What a happy story this is triplets plus family
I loved reading about this couple with two girls, who then have baby triplets. The two girls are such great older sisters to the baby triplets! Nice helping hand from family and friends too.
http://www.oregonnews.com/article/20080209/NEWS01/195904190/-1/NEWS
http://www.oregonnews.com/article/20080209/NEWS01/195904190/-1/NEWS
Thursday, July 12, 2007
The Opossum's Story
Opossums are a very common animal wherever I've lived in the US. They are nocturnal so they are often seen as roadside kill along the side of the road, and not often seen live, but there are a lot of them around. They are found throughout North and South America and are known as "marsupials" because they are mammals who carry their young in a pouch. They are also known as "omnivores" because they can eat a wide range of foods, both "meat" (insects, snails, lizards, bird eggs or fledglings, carrion or the discards of human's meals in garbage) and fruits and vegetables (such as roots.) They are a humble and almost considered like a trashy animal by some nowadays (though their meat and fur were much valued by early settlers in this country) and much fun is made of their "playing dead" when faced with a threat. When an opossum faces extreme danger, it literally goes into a deathlike state of "coma," probably evolved so that it causes the opossum's attacker to leave it for dead. There's a picture and some good info under its listing in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposum.
Now, why am I writing about the Opossum? There's a marvelous evolutionary story about them that I'd like to share to provoke some thought. This story is not unique to the opossum, but I selected the opossum to talk about because of its extraordinarily humble qualities plus one other reason: they are incredibly fertile, with a female opossum bearing as many as twenty tiny young per litter, once or twice a year, and is able to nurse about a dozen!
Opossums first evolved 100 million years ago, and are among the first of the mammals. Think about it, this very species that I've often seen in my back yard is the same species and form as it was 100 million years ago. They have been, during that time, some of the easiest prey imaginable - they don't fight predators, they fall into that "coma" state when highly threatened... so they have been some of the easiest pickings as food by fierce predators, reaching back a hundred million years. How is it that they survived? Because of their fertility and the female's single minded focus on raising the young until they are independent. If you see a picture of an opossum with young, you can often see multiple young clinging on her back as she provides for them. She is constantly with them because they are constantly with her... she does not check them into opossum day care, or abandon them before they can fend for themselves and feed. She does not think that "two children are the ideal number to have" so that she can "self actualize." As a result the humblest of species, the opossum, has lived UNCHANGED for 100 million years.
Here's a mental exercise to put the time of the opossum into context with the time of "civilized humans." It's only 5000 years ago that the first few of the great civilizations of humankind emerged. For example, you can think back to the time of the Pharaohs, since I know a lot of people are really kind of goofy about their arcane knowledge and times, thinking that Egyptian magicians had all sorts of answers about the nature of the universe, the Book of the Dead, and so forth. If you consider that 5000 years as the great time span of human's "civilization" then to equal the time span that opossum "society" and "family" has existed, you would have to live the time back to the Pharaohs twenty thousand times. That's right... opossums in their current form have lived in their existing form twenty thousand times longer than humans have lived in their "civilized" form. The opossum even recovered from a long period of local extinction (they were missing for about 30 million years in North America but thrived in South America) with the South American opossums eventually repopulating the missing population of opossums in North America.
I think that it is a powerful, science based lesson that can remind humans today why a life based culture is essential to survival. Smarts, sophistication, and deadly weapons were not keys to opossum survival, and neither were the disappearing and devaluing of motherhood, and the aborting of inconveniently large litters. This humble animal serves as a reminder about why being fruitful is such a pervading theme and imperative throughout the Bible. I'm not talking just about the physical survivability of the species either. I'm talking about the constancy of it. You would recognize a 100 million year old opossum if you saw one alive today. Sometimes becoming more sophisticated and aggressive only serves to lose what one has. That's the lesson of the Garden of Eden, with the tree of knowledge and the tree of life. Now, humans are not even recognizable from generation to generation. I can tell you that human behavior has changed so radically in the fifty years that I have observed it close up that I wonder what folks are thinking is going to happen to them, what they have wrought, and done to themselves and their children. So think about that humble opossum and like me, wonder if "civilized" humans will exist even two spans of that time back to the Pharaohs, say nothing of the twenty thousand times the opossum has thrived in its form and family.
Now, why am I writing about the Opossum? There's a marvelous evolutionary story about them that I'd like to share to provoke some thought. This story is not unique to the opossum, but I selected the opossum to talk about because of its extraordinarily humble qualities plus one other reason: they are incredibly fertile, with a female opossum bearing as many as twenty tiny young per litter, once or twice a year, and is able to nurse about a dozen!
Opossums first evolved 100 million years ago, and are among the first of the mammals. Think about it, this very species that I've often seen in my back yard is the same species and form as it was 100 million years ago. They have been, during that time, some of the easiest prey imaginable - they don't fight predators, they fall into that "coma" state when highly threatened... so they have been some of the easiest pickings as food by fierce predators, reaching back a hundred million years. How is it that they survived? Because of their fertility and the female's single minded focus on raising the young until they are independent. If you see a picture of an opossum with young, you can often see multiple young clinging on her back as she provides for them. She is constantly with them because they are constantly with her... she does not check them into opossum day care, or abandon them before they can fend for themselves and feed. She does not think that "two children are the ideal number to have" so that she can "self actualize." As a result the humblest of species, the opossum, has lived UNCHANGED for 100 million years.
Here's a mental exercise to put the time of the opossum into context with the time of "civilized humans." It's only 5000 years ago that the first few of the great civilizations of humankind emerged. For example, you can think back to the time of the Pharaohs, since I know a lot of people are really kind of goofy about their arcane knowledge and times, thinking that Egyptian magicians had all sorts of answers about the nature of the universe, the Book of the Dead, and so forth. If you consider that 5000 years as the great time span of human's "civilization" then to equal the time span that opossum "society" and "family" has existed, you would have to live the time back to the Pharaohs twenty thousand times. That's right... opossums in their current form have lived in their existing form twenty thousand times longer than humans have lived in their "civilized" form. The opossum even recovered from a long period of local extinction (they were missing for about 30 million years in North America but thrived in South America) with the South American opossums eventually repopulating the missing population of opossums in North America.
I think that it is a powerful, science based lesson that can remind humans today why a life based culture is essential to survival. Smarts, sophistication, and deadly weapons were not keys to opossum survival, and neither were the disappearing and devaluing of motherhood, and the aborting of inconveniently large litters. This humble animal serves as a reminder about why being fruitful is such a pervading theme and imperative throughout the Bible. I'm not talking just about the physical survivability of the species either. I'm talking about the constancy of it. You would recognize a 100 million year old opossum if you saw one alive today. Sometimes becoming more sophisticated and aggressive only serves to lose what one has. That's the lesson of the Garden of Eden, with the tree of knowledge and the tree of life. Now, humans are not even recognizable from generation to generation. I can tell you that human behavior has changed so radically in the fifty years that I have observed it close up that I wonder what folks are thinking is going to happen to them, what they have wrought, and done to themselves and their children. So think about that humble opossum and like me, wonder if "civilized" humans will exist even two spans of that time back to the Pharaohs, say nothing of the twenty thousand times the opossum has thrived in its form and family.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Another reason to read Cal Ripken, Jr's book
I posted before that I bought Cal Ripken, Jr's book, being a big fan of baseball and of him personally. The book is called "Get in the Game" and it's written by Cal Ripken, Jr. with Donald T. Phillips, Gotham Books, 2007. It's considered kind of a business advice book combined with baseball fan book, but now I recommend it for parents!
As I read the book I'm so impressed at how Cal looks back on his home life while growing up and the important lessons his father taught him just in the simple acts of being a caring, wise, and demanding dad! For those of you who are parents, either a mom or a dad, I think you will get a lot of support in reading this book. It's a reminder of how good "normalcy" is, and that parenthood is not a competition with your child and their friends about who is the most "cool." While Cal's dad managed a baseball team, it was not a glamorous life and thriftiness and hard work were vital to the family's success. His family did not get a short cut to celebrity, and therefore skip the character building basics of life and self worth that every child needs to grow up with. In addition to parents, I'd also recommend this book for people who grew up without a dad's positive influence.... either because the dad was missing, or because they were cheesy or irresponsible. Reading this book you can "borrow" Cal's dad (I'm sure he won't mind at all.) It's never too late to read about a good role model and apply even a few of the simple lessons to one's own life and family.
As I read the book I'm so impressed at how Cal looks back on his home life while growing up and the important lessons his father taught him just in the simple acts of being a caring, wise, and demanding dad! For those of you who are parents, either a mom or a dad, I think you will get a lot of support in reading this book. It's a reminder of how good "normalcy" is, and that parenthood is not a competition with your child and their friends about who is the most "cool." While Cal's dad managed a baseball team, it was not a glamorous life and thriftiness and hard work were vital to the family's success. His family did not get a short cut to celebrity, and therefore skip the character building basics of life and self worth that every child needs to grow up with. In addition to parents, I'd also recommend this book for people who grew up without a dad's positive influence.... either because the dad was missing, or because they were cheesy or irresponsible. Reading this book you can "borrow" Cal's dad (I'm sure he won't mind at all.) It's never too late to read about a good role model and apply even a few of the simple lessons to one's own life and family.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Recovering love for babies and paternal tenderness
Recovering love for babies and paternal tenderness
The pro life fight is so wearying yet it is the vital issue of our times. As relief from just the sadness and terror of the subject, every few days I'm going to post something positive and loving about babies, and about being a parent. Some will be quotes from the Bible, but many will be just sweet, secular musings about the family. For the first, here is one of seven births in the Bible that were foretold.
Genesis 16: 7 And the Angel of the Lord found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
Genesis 16: 11 And the Angel of the Lord said unto her, Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction.
The pro life fight is so wearying yet it is the vital issue of our times. As relief from just the sadness and terror of the subject, every few days I'm going to post something positive and loving about babies, and about being a parent. Some will be quotes from the Bible, but many will be just sweet, secular musings about the family. For the first, here is one of seven births in the Bible that were foretold.
Genesis 16: 7 And the Angel of the Lord found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
Genesis 16: 11 And the Angel of the Lord said unto her, Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction.
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