Will people merit mercy?

Will people merit mercy?

Except for seasonal allergies I've always been very healthy. I hiked, skied, gardened, bird watched, learned fencing and martial arts, and never had an injury or major illness. The allergies had made me miserable as a child, though, and so I had some understanding of those who were ill. And my father died too soon of a heart attack. But I had always been blessed with great health. The trade off for that seems to be that I'm "sturdy" and "zaftig" (as my Yiddish aunt in law would say.) So I wasn't model material, but I knew that I was blessed with good health and a well working body.

All that changed 13 years ago when I woke one night in unbearable pain in my abdomen. A rush to the emergency room and then 11 painful, un medicated hours of tests resulted in my needing surgery. In a flash my womb and one ovary was gone, and surgeons muttered "pre cancerous" and so forth. Six months later, I woke in disbelief to the same pain, maybe even worse, and after a rerun to the hospital the horror story continued, and the second ovary had to go. This surgery was botched and I was scarred for life, and quite infected. My brother was extremely suspicious of malpractice at the time. But that's not where I'm going with this story.

What was very strange, and continues to this day, is that "friends" and people I don't even know have made some very odd remarks about my surgeries (which I certainly did not choose to have.) It took me a while to figure it out, but apparently people who have had abortions, or who have issues with my faith, took some, well, oddly evil comfort in my having had a hysterectomy and a scarred "pot belly" as a result. It was too strange to believe, at first, the oddly unkind remarks and actions. Those of you who have had miscarriages may have an idea what I mean. Imagine my shock, though, when as recently as last year, a priest who I otherwise admired, actually condemned my surgery out loud to my face at a "healing mass" ... and this was in a parish hundreds of miles from where I live, and he would have no way of knowing my circumstances. There was, and I can't think of any other way to put it, an air of "well, she's such a pious scank isn't she?"

One when I was in an ER, in my embarrassing gown, I saw someone take pictures of me with a cell phone camera. Wow, Beyonce I'm not... he must have been a "motherly flab with face etched in pain and sweat" fan. And I'm not embarrassed. I'd rather people took a hundred pictures of my big butt than look at one picture of child porn. And well, looks like that offer's not been taken up because look at how the filth of child sexual exploitation is ruining the world.

Well, I hardly know where to start in describing my thoughts, but I do wonder, do these people think that when they face God when they die, that he will understand "spin" and "nuance" what they were thinking and what they have done? These are people who think they know quite a bit. They are in for a dreadful surprise.

I mostly ignore what has been done to me, because life offers so many ways to love, beyond vanity of the body, and beyond having a biological child. But it is weird how obsessed people are with other people's wombs and bodies, and thinking of ways to degrade them. No wonder there is so much cruelty in our society? When even a priest in a healing mass "cracks wise?" It is good that the Holy Father recently reminded people that there is a hell. One's personal judgment is not like court TV when you get to have a smart mouth, a famous lawyer, and time to rationalize sin. There is physically no way to lie or spin in the presence of God... he will remember and judge things that you have even forgotten.

And I urge those of you who have been victims and suffered, including having had an abortion that you now regret, to take a page from my book and make an honest relationship with God your highest priority. Those of you who have suffered and perhaps lost a child due to abortion, do remember that you will have one great advocate in heaven: your child who awaits you. Do all that you can do to get there with a clean and honest soul so you can be reunited in eternal joy. Let's just say, no one cares if the lifeguard to the drowning man or woman is tubby with a scar.

Just to end on a humorous note. I always loved the scene in Lethal Weapon II when the Mel Gibson character and the soon to be girlfriend character have a friendly scar comparison and competition lol. I bet my scar would win "hands down" lol.