Spiritual direction: unfit parents

Trust me, whenever I read a news report about some crack head parent who abuses their child I'm as infuriated as the next person. But inevitably in the "comments" section there are those who use that type of tragedy to rant about unfit parents with the agenda of pushing more birth control and more abortions. How sad and wrong headed is that attitude, as understandable as it is in the heat of the outrage and the moment over the abuse. My equivalent is to spend a moment or two contemplating the parent in hell. But I need to guide people away from thinking that "less life" and "less children" are EVER the answer to wrongs committed against children. A child killed by crackhead parents was still entitled to life and there should have been a way to perform an intervention. Investigations show that usually there were MANY chances to do so.

One of my favorite "every day" birds is the mourning dove. It is called that because of its plaintive call. They are a commonly found bird, and they've been residents where I lived in NY, in NJ, in CT, in AZ and here in MS. When one hikes in the desert one hears their call, and it's welcome company. Pairs stay very close together. They are simply sweet birds.

When I had my house in NJ I had a large backyard and on an outside wall bracket that was about three feet up from the ground was looped the garden hose in case I needed to water by hand. But usually there was ample rain and so the hose would be undisturbed for weeks or months. One day I walked outside and to my total amazement a mourning dove had laid about a dozen sticks on top of the looped hose and had laid an egg. Now there was no way that the egg or nest could last there because it would roll off in the slightest breeze, and it was only about three feet above the ground, in easy reach of the many cats and squirrels. But she came and sat on it and I left her and her mate alone and sure enough the nest did not last (I had taken some photographs though, and they should be still be packed in my storage unit). Mourning doves are very serious nesters but nest in the most simple and haphazard nest arrangements. They are very unlike birds who nest in difficult to see or reach locations, or who develop fantastic works of architecture for their nest, like daub and wattle or woven basket structures. Yet as I said, even though this nest failed, the mourning doves are everywhere and thrive.

If I was as censorious as some I know, would I not have said, "Oh what a stupid bird and such a poor mother! She deserved not to have that egg." Of course not, that would be idiotic. The mourning dove's loud and persistent YES to life has rewarded it with being a ubiquitous bird all across this country in every terrain from back yard suburb to wetlands edges to desert. I saw several pairs in my usual drive today to and from the store. The mourning dove is a bird that loves life and says yes to life even in the most unpromising situations, such as balanced on top of my garden hose loops exposed to the elements of wind, rain and predator. Is that being stupid or a bad parent or is that saying yes to life?

Society needs to restore its morality and the nurturing of even the most unsuitable parents. Sometimes the nurturing means to exercise tough love and enforce drug detoxification and taking away children from them. But the focus must always be on that child. When a society only looks for more examples of people who should say "no" to life, then that society is doomed and will die.

Speaking of birds, did you know that the cardinal has two and up to three broods a year?! They never rest! They have one of the first fledglings of spring, then have a summer brood, and if the season is long enough and food is plentiful they will even have a third nesting and offspring before winter. Talk about saying "yes" to life!!!