Biblical and current life examples of losing grace

Specific examples of how individual people lose grace.

God bestows grace, but he can, and does, take it away. This was totally understood in the previous generations and completely misunderstood among many Christians today. Some well educated people continue to use in a secular manner the expression “a fall from grace,” yet do not recognize that this also refers to a spiritual condition. Many, especially non-denominational and evangelical Christians, think that grace is something that you accumulate from God (true) but that once gained it is like gold bricks in a vault and cannot be tarnished or lost (untrue). A most vivid example is King Solomon in the Bible. He had an abundance of grace, yet he lost that very grace through his late in life hedonism and worship of idols. God gave King Solomon literally everything, both the abundance of spiritual grace and salvation (to use the popular evangelical term) and control over the forces of nature, including great material wealth (just because archaeologists cannot dig it up does not mean that the gold etc. did not exist… it simply was carried away by pagan nations during the various falls of Israel). King Solomon died in a state of fall from grace, where he squandered away the grace he had accumulated from God. This is in contrast to King David who committed some very stupid sins, but who never ever once turned his back on God himself and his grace. David sinned in behavior, but never deviated from God himself. Also, David sinned while there was plenty of time for him in his life to immediately atone and perform penance and remediation. Solomon died without performing penance and remediation. Therefore David died with the grace he accumulated intact, while Solomon died having to trust in the mercy of God, the very God he turned from and worshipped against. Just like the gold of his kingdom, which was huge in quantity and quality, yet was lost and carried off by pagans, so was the grace of Solomon thrown away by his own actions.

Now I will warn you about how I have observed this very loss of grace among many people who surround me. As I’ve blogged before, while I’m totally a physical and humble human, I was born being aware of the complete truth of the contents of the Bible and the Qur’an, and also with a mission to not redo or not add or subtract, but to witness to the purity of the faith that people had been straying from. In other words I rebuff and reject and teach that deviation from the Apostolic faith of Jesus Christ, in the Catholic Church, is incorrect and incomplete, that the Qur’an is correct for the people to whom it was given, and that Reformation faiths are incomplete and incorrect. Needless to say I was also to witness against atheism, Communism and its ilk, and pagan so-called New Age beliefs. By witness against I mean both the reality of my existence (I’m here, I’m Catholic, and I know what I’m talking about, and I can prove it by answering any question about how to correctly interpret the Scriptures and God’s will) and through a healing ministry with people of like mind and spirit. I have been waiting over 50 years for those people to appear and not a single one has. While waiting I am obviously supposed to be alive and validating the goodness of life. I had been baffled, however, in my early years by the actions of many who were supposed to be friends or acquaintances, say nothing about actually being disciples that I awaited. At first I thought it was subconscious on their part. After all, as the Lord instructed, I had maintained total silence as to my “identity” and mission, since I was not to take action until I was an adult (over thirty years old) and I was with my true life partner. My hand was forced into marriage twice because I found that I was actually under physical threat of molestation and other harm, possibly costing my life before I could accomplish what the Lord willed. So I married, basically, “bodyguards.” One proved to be totally addicted and a threat to his own safety, say nothing of actually protecting me, so I divorced him very quickly. The second was a good man, but one who was choosing a potential wife from a long list of candidates (with attributes listed) and I simply allowed myself to move to the head of the list. It was my intention to heal him from that Chinese menu view of a partner, knowing that someday I would move on with my true partner, and knowing that he would have accumulated great grace from his service and affection toward me and that he too would gain greatly. But everything went terribly wrong for the past, most recent, twenty years. I observed and experienced incredibly painful anti-God and anti-me treatment that while I continued to think it must be subconscious (as my identity was still a subject on which I was silent and had an excellent cover) I had to start wondering at its 100 percent prevalence and the total lack of any true disciple with purity toward God’s teaching and will. I started wondering if the Pope and I were the only ones who “got it.” When Joan Osborne came out with a taunting song about God being “one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on a bus” in 1997 I really started to wonder what was going on. This is especially true because God verified to me in 1995 that the partner I sought was alive in the world. I had started to think that maybe it was God’s will that the plan for my life had changed and that I was going to be called home, which would have been fine with me. If people are too stupid and evil to be saved there are plenty of people already in heaven and lots of room in hell. But that was not my nature and I wanted to mother and love people back on the right track. I’m just saying that knowing who I am and the truth of God I have never feared death, though I’ve taken great care of my safety because otherwise I could not do my mission. I used to tell friends when I was in my teens that I could die at any time and that would be fine, and they were shocked (and didn’t believe me). I don’t mean it in the nihilistic way that sadly so many view death now, especially the young for whom the salt of life has lost (or never had) its flavor. The robbing of children of the trueness and goodness of life is one of the great spiritual genocides of the time, by the way, and many will go to hell for doing this to our children. But I digress. That song and other snarky messages in the media felt very intentional, and not subconscious. I could mention other examples, but I know people have gotten the point. These music, media and literary snarky messages got my attention, and probably not in a way that people intended. God, of course, was always aware of the fullness of the situation.

Then my “friends” and acquaintances started nudging me toward astrology. Ah ha. I went along with the cues and visited the web site that I was nudged toward. I started reading the “scopes” for my “signs” and found that some of them could actually have been written from my monthly diary of events. Hmm. How could astrology be “working” when I know for a fact that there is nothing to astrology and it does NOT work? I started working with the Holy Spirit in order to immerse myself in where I was being nudged and find out why astrology and “psychic readings” seemed to “work” and seemed to be “accurate.” This was when I uncovered the great secret alliance of pseudo-Christians who are heretics, witchcraft performers, stalkers, manipulators and spies. I found that my cover had been blown a long time ago, but blown in a totally inaccurate way. I learned that people knew I was a “someone,” but thought I was an old, unattractive, fat, stupid “reincarnated saint.” That would not be so bad if people had identified me as a “someone,” but incorrectly in the actual make up of my spirit. But to my horror I discovered that many thousands of power brokers actually believe in reincarnation (which does not exist at all, not EVER) but think that they are players out of sacred scriptures. They actually manipulate people’s lives to fulfill materialistic and what they think is spiritual karma. They have their own star chambers and have destroyed countless lives and led many souls to hell who would have otherwise been saved. I learned that they were advocating for my physical and emotional harm, thinking that they were carrying into the present “beefs” from the past. They have pillaged companies, countries, society, churches and families. They think they are “covered” because they think, as I explained above, that grace is like gold bricks and can be accumulated and never lost. So they actually think they accumulate grace in “charitable” activities, while with the other hand crushing anyone who is not their puppet (or is beneath their notice, you know, like the peasantry, or like “muggles,” or whatever Potter fans call those “without magic.”) How do I know this? They told me in their ham fisted way of trying to get me to “remember” my “past lives.” They experimented on me like a lab rat, both by putting me in situations where they could “evaluate my reaction” and physically, by abusing my body in surgery.

Another thing that helped me to figure out what was going on, which goes back to the point of this specific blog posting, is that I noticed some years ago that people who should have received grace from God for providing me with company and support where actually having some fierce things happen to them and their families. I first noticed this in the mid-1990’s. This is because, as I have repeatedly told you, God knows all as it is happening and in advance as humans form their free will intentions in their minds. So people I thought were helpful and nice to me were actually part of the manipulators and God knew. So God hardened his heart toward them even as I continued to be the dummy who was waiting for the cavalry to arrive so we can fix the world. These mean pigs thought they were accumulating grace, while all they have been doing is paving their way to a certain hell. Cancer, heart disease, and painful and mysterious illnesses such as ALS are a human condition and people need to invest in ethical ways to mitigate and heal them. So at first in the early 1990’s I thought the people I knew who suffered from these illnesses were part of the wave of genetic mutation, pollution, and unhealthy living that people have brought upon themselves, and for the most part that is true. But I noticed a few “outlier” incidents where my connection with the Holy Spirit told me that if people were as good to me as I had kidded myself they were, it was odd that certain “smites” took place. By smite I mean an unexpected illness or accident where it stretched credulity. In the late 1990’s as not a single person appeared to help me in my service to God and to the restoration of balanced reality based joy in life, and I saw a few of these events of illness and accident among those who were exposed to grace to God through me, it clicked. I realized that people were deliberately defying God and pretending to be spiritual and faithful. God is never fooled. He withholds chastisement as long as there is hope, but as I explained in a previous blog post, at some point he will harden his heart and allow someone to be smote through their own actions. This is especially true as thousands and millions of people have been harmed by the actions of these people I describe. They need to understand that defying God, harming me, and destroying the faith results in the loss of any grace they think they have. It’s not like you can take naked photographs of me and mock me, but then work in a soup kitchen over Christmas and it “cancels out” and you’ve “banked some grace due to charity.” You don’t fly a sick child on a corporate plane (thinking you get grace) and then make money off of the computers and networks that transmit images of infant rape. You vipers and fools! How could you have ever thought that God will permit this forever?

So I’ve got a financial report for you. Just as you have bankrupt and broken me, you have bankrupt and broken your own grace and salvation. You can be saying a hundred rosaries a day for all I care, but your actions toward me and the innocent of the world render your faithless mumbles meaningless. The people I have graced with my company have lost all their benefits thanks to your machinations. That was one of the first things that made me wonder. There was a man who I romantically cared about, even though we were both married. For a while I thought he might have been the partner I was waiting for, but I soon found out he was not, yet I still cared about him and his family. He had issues. He told me that he didn’t really know what love is, and that he had to snort cocaine before he could walk down the aisle to get married. I cared deeply about him and knew he would be a great father, despite the problems he felt, as he was an incredibly stable and responsible person. Years went by and I didn’t see him, and then we hooked up once in the mid-1990’s. He told me something that was one of the first examples of where I went, “Whoa, huh. Why did that happen to someone in his family? That did not seem to be the way I thought grace would flow.” Well, that was when the Holy Spirit informed me that all was not as it should be. So actions by some creeps derailed the grace that I had intended to share with the family. While all grace is from God it is up to people to open and share opportunities for grace, and I am the master of that. By master I mean I am totally approved and able to consciously discern how people can position themselves for grace from God. This is one reason that often I refuse to cooperate with the daily script writing and theater that the stalkers have planned for me; I do not want the participants to sin and so I hinder being a target wherever I can. I have suffered for years by doing this. People have wanted me to take jobs and do things so that they can demean and manipulate me in the name of “karma,” since they think they are karma vigilantes. But I know that each act and each spoken or written word that is in service of this karma vigilantism is a grave sin and blocks grace. So even as sinners harm me I have tried to shield them from their own actions by refusing to be puppeteered. Yet they will not stop, they have gone insane with evil. So of recent years I have stopped trying to even stop people from day to day sin and degradation. Rather than accumulating grace, you fools and vipers have lost even the ally who tried to keep you from performing more sin, by being more estranged from the one true God, from being damned. I have joined God in the hardening of the heart toward humans. So go make your donations toward wiping out malaria, and mouth words that you don’t mean to Jesus Christ. You’ll find out, and it may well be when it is too late. I think if you check your lists you’ll find out that it’s far too late for many of your ilk, as they roast in hell.

For me, I never dreamed that I would have to speak the words I’ve spoken the past several years, have hardened the heart as I’ve had to, and have given up on the vast majority of human beings. I have had to surrender to God and send home the spirit that I hoped to bring to humans. As wicked as people are I never dreamed that I’d be reading the newspaper each day about how parents film the spreading of their infant babies’ legs and thrusting cocks into their holes until they die, and marketing the film on the Internet billionaires’ sites. The things that I have seen, that I have heard, and that I have been subjected to are unbelievable, and as far from God’s will as black is from white. Even having to have the words of this generation of “humans” in my mind, on my lips, and typed on this keyboard is a horror. Like Ezekiel I feel I need, although I am assured that I do not, a black ember from the throne of heaven to purify my lips because of the scum I have been living among, before I return home. I didn’t need it in 1995, when I was called home but returned, but the depravity that has filled this earth in the meantime is a disgusting burden. I draw my comfort from knowing that when I am called home I won’t see any of you vipers, whether you were an architect or a bit player. And you wonder why St. John saw Jesus returning in the Second Coming in wrath. One thing you can count on like the bank; I won’t be holding his arm back with pleas for intercession and mercy. God willing.