Some simple guides to life

Yes, you are a human being.

Humans are born, they live, and they die. Once.

No matter how weird you feel at a given moment, the world is real and you are alive in it. You're not imagining being alive.

(A great cure for feeling very alienated or existential is to go and stand in a very long and slow line at some bureaucracy. Your aching feet will eventually persuade you that you are really alive and not imagining things).

If someone becomes interested in a historical figure, a hobby, a location or some other interest it is because someone has become interested in a historical figure, a hobby, a location or some other interest. It is not because they are finding their way through foggy bounds of past lives. Be glad people are interested in different things, otherwise we'd all be collecting the same spackleware and bidding on the same Babe Ruth cards. Everyone would be restoring the same place, say, Mount Vernon, and ignoring every other monument.

Yes there is a one true God.

If you wonder why God appeared a certain way and instructed certain things, well, figure it out. He could have appeared as a dachshund or a giant talking sunflower, but he didn't. So deal with how he chose to present himself to humans and quit bitching about it.

When scientists dig up fossils that reveal the evolution of plants and animals, it really happened exactly the way the rocks reveal (these rocks don't lie). Neither conspirators nor aliens planted wacky fossils to "fake you out."

If you add one to one you get a sum total of two. The rest of math and life works the same way. One is not an anagram for Neo from the Matrix movie. One is the quantity one. Two is the quantity two.

Two of something good is better than one of something good. Two of something bad is worse than one of something bad.

Pollution is bad. Pollution is bad because at some point it overwhelms the environment's natural ability to process it, break it down, and use it naturally.

Everyone should have access to food, water, shelter, sanitation (that's toilets for those who might think sanitation is an anagram for a secret), education for children and basic reliable healthcare. Until you've provided that for every living being (without using abortion as your solution) I suggest you stop with criticizing God and his ways.

Every person has a guardian angel, who arrives when the embryo attaches to the woman's womb and starts to grow. The guardian angel is there whether you believe in it or not, and whether you call the preborn baby a "fetus," "not yet alive," "lump of tissue," or any other diminishing term. The guardian angel is there and goes where the baby goes.

Four plus four equals eight. Eight of a good thing is better than four of a good thing. Eight of a bad thing is worse than four of a bad thing. The word "eight" means there are eight in quantity of something that you've counted. It does not mean you just consumed something "ate" or that you "hate" something. And for anagram lovers it does not mean if you see eight of something you are getting a secret message from The Ig. If you see two groups of eight things it does not mean that The Ig is telling you to Get Hi. It means that there are eight of one thing in one group and another eight of those things in another group.

If you get stoned all the time you will think like a stoner. If you get drunk all the time you will think like a drunk. If you look for hidden messages in everything soon you won't recognize a real communication when it is spoken to you, even if the person is kind and doesn't use any hard words and tries to use only one or two syllables.