Part Five: How I tried to handle astrologers

Over the years that I frequented the RAP message board, it went through a number of cycles and changes. They always were presented as being due to some sort of normal change, such as moving domains, new participants coming and going, or new “interests” that would spring up. But it was obvious that the puppet masters were following occult cycles and also trying to be “responsive” to world events, and, of course, to how I was reacting to them individually and as a group. It went through dry periods were very few people did much of anything. Then it had a huge burst in participation after the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001. That was presented as being “many concerned people flocking to the board seeking answers and bonding.” I saw it for what it was which was like the bees swarming around after a stick had been poked into their nest. They had been there all along, but were suddenly out in the “open” because of their startlement and confusion. There were many “new” people posting, but they were obviously poseurs. During this time I experienced some of these “new” individuals be openly hostile to me without any cause or reason. They would mask it by claiming to be overemotional about 9/11, and thus attack me when I’d post something moderating to an anti-Arab posting. It upset me enough that I actually spoke to one of my grad school professors about it. Like I said, just because I knew that deep and dark reasons existed for such behavior toward me, I still reacted as a normal human would, which is to be hurt and to look for a person to be consoling. This professor, who was also my advisor in my grad school work, was a sympathetic ear, as he could relate because of hostility toward him being gay. Later I realized that he’s in the circle, of course, of the RAP gang, but that doesn’t mean that I was willing to cut myself off from everyone, even though that’s what eventually happened, but not because I wanted it that way. I still wanted to have normal human conversations and interactions with people, even though they themselves may be partially or fully poisoned by the venom of the cultist insanity that has overtaken so many and, by their control, of virtually everyone around me, who marches to their drum and choreography.
So the cycles I observed, and are not listed in any particular order in time, but just as I recall them on refection were: very few people, very many people, people focused on astrology, people focused on world events and “venting,” people wanting relationship help, people wanting “bipolar” or other disorders help, focus on Western astrology, focus on Eastern (Indian) astrology, traditional astrology talk and “lessons,” other New Age topics such as that farce called “reiki.” There were other threads that ran throughout, which were that participants seemed “coincidentally” to be all “authors and writers.” LOL. Who would have guessed? I addressed that in one of my previous posts on this subject regarding my three readings for the “script writer.” Waves of people with clusters of birthdays would “coincidentally” clump up and pass through the board, such as Sagittarius, Capricorn and Pisces. After 9/11 there were “attempts” to bring “prayer” into the board by people who presented themselves as being mainstream church. I really did not warm to them because remember, duh, as a Catholic I know how to spot a non-Catholic Christian “mindset” that is dispensational, non-denominational or otherwise unorthodox. No matter how pious they presented themselves, I mean think about it, what were they doing there on an occult message board? Only the “rapture” gang would really find themselves attracted to the occult and still try to paint themselves as pious church goers.

These were feelers, you see, put out after 9/11 startled them, as part of gauging my reaction. And they just had not figured out that being “clear,” to use that handy $cientologist term, I just don’t take the bait because I’m not interested in anything but what I know is the truth. My only interest was to try to make friends and draw as many of them toward health, genuine humanity and genuine rational faith/reason balance as possible, within the context of their own milieu if that’s what they insisted on. I was also still holding out hope, though it had rapidly faded, that the person who was supposed to be my partner would show up. By this time I had increasingly realized, though, that he was either not showing up, was “too late,” or because humans no longer merited even my poor efforts, did not come through in the form I expected because God had had enough of the world’s crap. I had already concluded that the only male companionship I should look for is someone to, well, be companionable with as in an older couple comfort level while I privately waited for the doom that humans are clearly pulling down on their heads. For the past twenty years when the partner I knew existed did not show up, I theorized that my mission was probably lost and that I’d just have to content myself being neighborly as in sharing standing on earth with the undeserving humans while the world collapsed in its own destruction upon itself.

One thing that really made me realize this was quite likely was that a cycle of message board activity brought to the forefront more of who the RAP puppet masters clearly viewed as their “heavy intellectual and spiritual guns.” Uh oh, I thought, as I read their crap. For example, one astrologer considers himself an expert on “the galactic core.” Yep, the core of our home galaxy. Western astrologers consider the galactic core to be at 21 degrees Sagittarius. Newsletters by this guy were spooky because they were so matter of fact that there’s all sorts of spiritual significance to the center of the Milky Way galaxy. Folks, it’s space, dust and rock. It rotates. It has gas and xrays and other natural stuff. There are black holes. It’s matter and energy. Get over yourselves. But this guy had a cottage industry about the “importance of the galactic core.” Worse, he considered himself this big scholar of the “big star” of movement that Venus makes over five hundred year cycles. When I read that and how obsessed the secret RAP group is with this, I realized that they were really lost. The movement of the planets is an optical illusion due to the timing of the orbits of the planets around the sun. It doesn’t matter one hairy rat’s ass that Venus “seems” to be making a “star” shape over a period of centuries and that “good” and “bad” things seem to happen then.
Let’s get real. Just yesterday I read that in RI a 17 year old boyfriend of a young mother raped the baby while babysitting her for his girlfriend. He shoved his dick into a tiny baby’s bottom and beat her, all in the time it took the mom to step outside and visit a neighbor. You want to tell me that humans are living in “good” or “bad” times according to karma, the imaginary movements of dead and stupid piles of rocks, and your own rantings about aliens and psychic powers? I’m reading this unbelievable bull crap five years ago, while driving to my internship at a mental hospital outpatient unit and think, “How arrogant, stupid, venal, and disgusting are these mercenary overpaid thieving cultists who care only about looking like they are Mickey Mouse aka reincarnated Jesus relative while the values and stability of the world is being destroyed in front of all of our eyes.”

I’m not a movie goer because movies, in general, are just another propaganda tool by the cultists. So I have to be dragged to them (and regret it soon after) and I don’t take hints. I refused all the “men in black” hints until finally it was on TV one day and I watched it. Gosh, what a surprise. $cientology star(s) in a self aggrandizing (we in Brooklyn are keeping the world safe from bad aliens) manic depressive movie (and gosh, it’s all about how each “universe” is a marble that ugly alien kids are playing with) and bug eyed pug dogs are featured. Wow, I never could have guessed that. I hope the pug dogs don’t have to imagine someone stabbing their eyes all the time, like I had to feel in reality. It all came together, not because I give a damn about the details of the insane beliefs that these people have ruined the world with. But it gave me the “questions” to answer that everyone in their pride; hubris and arrogance have refused to ask me throughout my life to my face. So as the picture of the insanity has become clearer to me, I have been able to direct not only my writings, but my thoughts and speech toward refuting all of the errors.

It also illuminated me regarding a very strange “poem” that my ex-beau once wrote about me. It was an angry poem, because I didn’t understand his wife swapping and anything goes British ways. I had to accept it because that’s what he and his wife, now ex-wife, chose as their milieu. But I never liked it and the fact they were drunks demonstrated that there was not much pleasure in paradise there. Anyway, he once wrote a poem critical of me because I am “like a black hole sucking up everyone in a controlling way through my tendrils” while he and his ilk are just like beautiful happy floating nebulas of fluffy pink gas floating through space. Ha ha, I’m being a little nasty in my paraphrasing, but not in the part about me, which is exactly what he said. Once I saw that insane RAP psychotics think that galaxies are life forms, related to reincarnation and people on earth, that black holes are also poop holes (and so anal sex is, well, it just can’t be helped they figure) and that this popped out of the mind of one of the least literary or poetic people I ever knew, who was Church of England and not anything New Age…. I realized that the insanity is everywhere, conscious and unconscious, directed and not directed. It’s viral to the extreme and that’s not an advertising compliment. Honestly, when he gave me that “poem” around ten to fifteen years ago, I was hurt, but I figured it was the booze. But it was also, as I later realized, a chilling example how even a regular bloke is plugged into suicidal psychotic world and sanity destroying beliefs.

So far from “trying out” “showing me” different things to “break through” my “memory” and “illuminate me” as to “who I really am” my experience on that message board was that I was shown a scrapbook of the loss of humanity and sanity of large and influential puppet string pulling segment of the global human population. And that was not even the worst of it. I’ll discuss that in the next blog posting.