Read about this tragedy and learn

http://www.nola.com/news/index.ssf/2008/11/kenner_murdersuicide_binds_fam.html

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Now that you have read it, think this through carefully.

The reason that religious "traditionalists" insist on dating, love, marriage, baby IN THAT ORDER is not because we are boring old a**holes who do not understand life.

It is precisely to prevent broken hearts and tragedies such as this.

When a couple "experiments" with love, such as "living together" and then having a planned or unplanned child, it is devastating for one partner when the other decides this relationship is not for him or for her.

Many people like to criticize "violent" men who go crazy when a relationship breaks up. But that is exactly what I am pointing out was kept to a minimum back when people dated for extended periods, and then committed in marriage once they were certain. Many boys and men today are totally devastated when they "have it all" given to them (love, sex, friendship, even a baby), even before they are emotionally ready, and then it is yanked away from them.

Girls and women likewise suffer too, when they think they have it all, and then are "dumped," but it is often a mitigation that girls tend not to be as violent, and rather, fall into very sad cycles such as depression.

It seems the last thing anyone thinks of is the baby. The baby should always be the highest priority, but it is precisely for that reason that baby who comes "first" in importance should be "last" in order, after dating, a period of discernment, and then marriage.

See, young people, you need to understand something about the psyche of humans. Teenagers and young people are devastated when they have it "all" given to them, and then suddenly lose it because they were both too immature, or one partner just "walks away" and needs "time and space." You have all grown up thinking that "living together" somehow guarantees good marriage, by "checking it out first," but the opposite is true. When you "check it out" you are doing so at your current level of growth and maturity. If you marry, you commit, and if as so many marriages do, it fails, it does so over time, while you are both growing and have more resilience and understanding of how and why it failed. Thus a divorcing couple is more likely to have two more resilient individuals who can get through the trauma some years down the road, than a couple who "plays house" and "tries it out," and then in a matter of only months, one partner backs out for whatever reason. Yes, this couple would have been better off taking things slowly in the traditional way and yes, even if after they married they divorced or annulled, they would, obviously, still be much better off (to say nothing of the baby) emotionally and able to cope with the situation which would have more gradually unfolded.

I hope that you find this helpful. This is why you should stop snickering at people who marry frequently, because they are trying to do things the right way, in the right order. Humans need time to grow up, and to "have it all" only to have it yanked away by one partner (no matter how justified the reasons) is a heartache that many young people cannot endure, as they were not meant to be plunged from one extreme to the other. Humans sure would no longer be walking the earth if the order of dating/marriage/children hadn't been followed by 99.9% of humans for thousands of years.