Friday, November 28, 2008

Tips for parents: child Internet safety

I meant to post this a few days ago, right after the story of the young man who commit suicide while broadcasting from his room. One is a repeat of an often made suggestion by professionals, and I've added a thought of my own.

Parents are urged not to allow children, even teenagers, to keep a computer in their bedroom. The family computer and the computer that the child uses should be in a public area where parents can supervise and easily see what the child is accessing on the Internet. Teens will whine this is embarrassing and an invasion of privacy. Well, tell them that when we were growing up, we'd do our homework at the kitchen table, so we could be among the family and also keep an eye on what was at the time the only family TV. That type of arrangement worked for a reason, as we are seeing now. "Privacy" means giving youngsters chances to be tempted into activities that they do not yet have the good judgment and maturity to discern. So do whatever you can to keep all computer activities in the common living area.

My second suggestion is if all else fails and you must have a child use a computer in their own or otherwise specialized room away from everyone else, ban the use of a video camera. Here is how to explain it to your teenager. You, the parent, gets to choose for safety and privacy sake who enters your home and to who you give personal details about your family. A web camera is an uncontrolled and unapproved "eye" into the house and family, which is a security and privacy threat, and your responsibility as a parent. Therefore at the very least ban the use of web cameras by your children and keep the device if you have them only in the common room. Again, a video camera boosts ego gratification and narcissism at a time when youth are just not emotionally equipped to handle it and to discern how unwise that is as a practice. So if you feel you cannot win the war of getting the computer in the common area, at least insist on no private web camera usage, and that it must be used only under supervision. The brains of children and teens are not ready for exhibitionism, trust me.