Part 4: Easy example (continued)

Not every conversation has all four dialogues. In fact it is one of the key identifiers of dysfunction in a person if there is excessive dialogue outside of the conscious A to conscious B interchange. Dysfunctional people, dysfunctional families, dysfunctional peer groups, dysfunctional workplaces and dysfunctional societies have an excess of conscious to unconscious and unconscious to unconscious dialogue. Artificial media, particularly TV, movies, music, video games and fiction literature promote conscious to unconscious dialogue. I’m NOT talking about the hidden agenda of promoting or selling products because as I showed in my example, if it’s a known albeit hidden agenda it is still part of the conscious of party A. What I am talking about is that the authors, artists and producers of entertainment and informational media are driven in part by their own unconscious A motivations. If you have a lot of closet depressives writing material for entertainment there is going to be an unconscious A dialogue imbedded in their output. This is a large reason we have such serious problems with disordered and unbalanced thoughts and emotions in secular society today. It is literally contagious and completely pervasive. It is not unperceivable by the recipient because people who have a good balance can look at output from a depressive unconscious A and think, “Sheesh, what a plot line. Who comes up with this garbage?” But children of our modern society have grown up with unconscious A output being the NEW NORM.

Back to our example of parent A and son B. We have shown conscious A to conscious B conversation (clean your room) with conscious A hidden agenda (an important guest is coming), and dialogue between unconscious A (wanting to hurt and wound the son) and unconscious B (feeling unworthy even before a happy first date).

So how does a conscious A or B speak to an unconscious A or B? This happens when one of the persons in the conversation has identified some of the other persons’ unconscious thoughts and feelings. In our example we have two possibilities. Parent A may or may not be aware of son B’s unconscious feelings of unworthiness. If parent conscious A is aware of son’s unconscious B and addresses son B with that knowledge in mind and activated that is an example of conscious A to unconscious B conversation. Now remember, in our example, parent conscious A is NOT aware of their own unconscious A desire to wound and hurt the son. Parent A thinks they are operating purely from worthy intention, which is to have the son clean the room before the secret guest arrives.

But if parent conscious A is aware that son unconscious B feels unworthy parent A might do one of three things. Parent conscious A may not make that knowledge a factor in the conversation KNOWINGLY (not realizing that unconscious A has its own motivations and is expressing itself to unconscious B at the same time), conscious A might address unconscious B in a benevolent way, or conscious A might address unconscious B in a malevolent way.

1. The parent who does not knowingly use the knowledge of the son’s unconscious B unworthiness will stick to the topic at hand and not drag excess manipulation and feelings into it. BUT that effort will be tainted by the actions of unconscious A who interferes with the good intention of conscious A. For example, the timing of the conversation at all right before the son’s first date is already unconscious A’s malevolent influence. Even if no further words are said to unconscious B, the damage was already done because unconscious A set the timing and the stage for the confrontation.

2. The parent who wants to use the knowledge of unconscious B’s unworthiness for benevolence might couple the request to clean the room with words of encouragement about how great the parent believes the son’s first date will be. Remember, son is unconscious of his feelings of unworthiness, so on the outside he may appear to be someone who does not need encouragement. But the loving conscious parent A recognizes son’s unconscious B unworthiness feelings and speaks aloud some words of encouragement. The son, not knowing he feels that way, will likely brush the kind remarks off! But it is still right and worthy of the parent to say. Remember, though, that unconscious A has already tainted the interchange, through the unconscious A’s desire to wound, so the fact of having the conversation before the first date, creating tension, somewhat cancels out the benevolent conscious A to unconscious B encouragement.

3. The parent who wants to use the knowledge of unconscious B’s unworthiness for malevolent and manipulative purpose might have a parent conscious A to unconscious son B conversation that includes jabs at the unworthiness of the son as justification why the son ought to clean the room. Rather than just saying, “I have a guest coming and I am a social phony and want to impress the guest with my son’s clean room” the parent conscious A might take jabs at son unconscious B by saying, “Do you deserve to even have such a nice palatial room in this fine upscale house if you do not keep it clean?” ZING! So not only has parent unconscious A hurt the son unconscious B by manipulating the timing of the conversation, but parent conscious A has now attempted a mean and obvious guilt trip on the son via his unconscious B of unworthiness.