Surgery anniversary coming up

On September 14, 1994 I had to have a hysterectomy. A few days earlier a friend had rushed me to the hospital ER. It turned out I had a semi detached fibroid that had twisted and cut off blood supply to my pelvic area. In the course of torturous tests, during which I had no pain medication for eleven hours, the fibroid untwisted itself enough that I could wait for a scheduled surgery instead of an emergency team.

My ex-husband was kind enough to visit me when I came out of the operating room. I had no family, as they were all remote. I had some good friends, and they called, though several made very odd remarks, which they thought I did not notice, but I had. These were the friends who believe in reincarnation and New Age babble, and they basically told me I had "asked for this" to happen to me. I would not say that to a spayed dog, so that says more about their character than mine (or my imagined character, in their eyes.)

Something was botched in this surgery and six months later I was under the knife again, and treated even worse, coming out severely infected and permanently scarred and deformed in my abdomen wall.

I'm not one to dwell on the tragic since many people have suffered even more than I. Some years would go by and I'd not even think of the anniversary of the surgeries as they passed by. I'm not a "whining on the anniversary of the Titanic" type of person, so I didn't even recall the dates of the surgery for many years. But oddly enough, it eats away at the minds of other people and they obsess about it. For example, I was shocked when last year, during a visit to EWTN, a priest who did not even know me criticized me to my face for having a hysterectomy, during a "healing mass." Do priests have nothing better to do than gossip? I had only attended the healing mass to help pray for those who were there, and was flabbergasted to see that someone had told this priest about me and find myself being scolded for surgery I could not avoid. That was one of the last Masses I attended; you can see why. He sinned when he did that. I made a decision a long time ago not to be a lightening rod or bait for other people sinning. I hold the Mass in my heart and when there is a Mass that is pure enough for me to attend again, then I will.

The Catholic Church is the true Church, but like every individual and institution today, there are very dark forces that feel free to move around within it. I actually hope that many of those who have recently "crossed the Tiber" will have clearer eyes to recognize some of the ideation inflation and corruption that has snuck into the Catholic Church's personnel. They have been drawn to the Catholic Church by seeing the truth of its Apostolic lineage and its liturgy. Many Tiber crossers have seen in their previous places of worship cults of personality and error by clergy and parishioners, and I hope that they will help in a modern cleansing.

I understand there are photographs of my scars. They really are not all that alluring, gory or interesting LOL. I'd like you to think about what if that was done to your daughter, however. I think that my Muslim friends in particular would know what I mean and sympathize about the deliberate lack of dignity performed on me. I let it roll off my back like water off of a duck, but I hold in my heart and notice whenever it is repeatedly mentioned and perversely enjoyed.