Unhappiest Valentine's Day story

The New York Daily News is collecting stories from readers about their most unhappy Valentine Day experience, so they can publish the stories as some sort of solace for the other miserable souls. Hmm. Well, here's mine.

A few years ago someone hired a florist to deliver TWO of the most incredible bouquets of flowers to me at my home. The florist acted a little confused about the address, a nice acting touch. As I'm dumbfounded at the incredible bouquets, I open one card and see it is not for me, but for "someone else." Conveniently the florist is still in my driveway, to mumble how he was "confused" about the address, and take both of the bouquets away to their "right owner."

Guess these are the same folks who slap bad babies around and think that's funny.

Oh, and within a year of this cruel Valentine's "prank" an associate of the prankster had a woman stop for "directions" to deliver a big bouquet of flowers while I was on my daily walk. She was in a car with the cheerful bouquet (lots of golden flowers) prominently displayed while I "direct" her to the "street she was looking for." So for a second time in a year I was supposed to get an eye full of gorgeous flowers meant for someone else. I mean, like maybe they are so stupid and cruel that they keep repeating being mean and think I didn't figure it out, but come on, I'm neither stupid nor cruel and their stench reaches to high heaven.

There's a fruit basket delivery waiting for them in hell.